The Barber Shop

I don't know how many people enjoy going to the barber shop, but man, do I ever. It may just be because I still have hair, or atleast SOME.. When I head on in, the barbers just start laughing, must be warming up. Today was one of those special days.
I walked it, and ole Rob said the usual, YUUUUUP, easy on the top. And off we went. Shortly after, a young kid came in with his mom. I had to educate that kid, beings he wasn't mine, he was telling his mom he will need braces. He just got new glasses, but the education just came spilling out my mouth. I said braces? Oh man, don't kiss girls when you have braces, you will get locked together. He had a  deer in the headlights look on his face and his eyes got as big around as his glasses, my guess is he was about 8.
So I added, if you do, just make darn sure when your locked up you drag her to your house, and not hers. Her dad seems to get madder than your will, I use to wear glasses, and had braces, and kissed this girl, we got locked together at our teeth and I went to her house. Now I don't need glasses, her dad hit me so hard that the lens popped out and just wrapped around my eye.
By now, I think we might have another wrist flipper in town, I think I scared him, but man oh man I thought Rob was going to cut my ear off laughing. The poor guy that came in after the kid, had no idea who I was, nor what he was in for. He didn't know if I was being serious or joking, I love that look, the look around to see if everyone else is laughing and then ha ha, not knowing if someone was going to jump him.
Its alot like telling a colored joke to colored people, the whites always look around to make sure the blacks are laughing first and then they decide to laugh. My god, get some NUTS and let her go, laugh or don't.
But anywho, I am now one sexy dude with a NICE haircut, and he decided he didn't want to wax, or do a feather,,,,,,,cheap bastard. But he knows I will be back, as long as I have hair. All hail OTTOS.

Lost?

How can one just go driving and hag into the wrong direction, let alone darn near in another state? There are so many items out there to help such foolish drivers.
From gps, where you even have a woman telling you what to do, so you feel just at home. I like to ride with friends, when they go inside somewhere I switch theirs over to a man and in another language.
A compass, the old man and old lady who couldn't see a deer in the middle of the road because of the suction cup hiding a good portion of the windshield, and that ball, for some unknown reason N always points north, no matter how hard you shake it, it never gets dizzy.
Then you have your phone, if you would just just up and drive, out would be glad to trace your path, and even show you where you are.
But if one would take the time to stop and look at a shadow, you would know which direction home is, especially in nebraska, where we are flatter that a baby girls chest. The sun comes up in the east and sets in the west,.look at the shadow and header home.
Remember, you can walk on a eod leg, play cards with a fake hand, but no matter how hard you try you can't see from a glass eye, so look and pay attention to where you are going.

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