Best Things

Its the little things in life that just make me laugh my ass off like a drunk Santa. Okay, my belly jiggles. So I was just Facebook Whoring away and all of a sudden my damn computer starting ringing. Like a damn phone, I thought Facebook updated something retarded like they did the last time. And it rang, and rang, cuz I'm slow like that.
So I noticed this pop up balloon deally bob, that said answer, so WTF, I did, my brother started talking. Talk about freaked out, I thougt the damn Russians were coming for my commie hating ass. So, I talked back, and he heard me. TOTALLY AWESOME!!!
Then he asked where my video is, so, I was digging up a porn to email, and then he explained himself better, cuz he is my family member and knows better. Plus, Candycane was right there. After googling that shit, I found a download for it. TOTALLY COOL. I have free Skype, or maybe Skype is free, I don't know.
Then Candycane, my sister in law, educated me on how to get it on my phone. This technology shit is cooler than an igloo in March with 2 nano nano's pissing outside. (Don't ask). So after about 10 minutes, I am one cool ass redneck with google talk and video at my hands. OH THIS COULD BE BAD. Looks like I need to start opening some porn gmail accounts!!!!
But I am so proud of myself I gave myself a bowl of ice cream, then took the the cocoa puffs and dumped them out and replaced them with some Iams tiny bites. The kids wont ever know, and I bet they don't ask for cocoa puffs anymore either. Never a dull momeny living with a redneck, never dull.