Greatest Impressions

One rule to life I have learned, you never get a second chance to make a first impression. Humm, that kinda makes sense when I type it out. All be damn. Guess you don't get a third to make a second either. Ahhh, anywho.
I'm the type of guy that likes to wipe his nose, or pick it before shaking hands, just to get a reaction. That kind of stuff just kills me. Like going into Burger King, ordering food with a mouth full of pop rocks talking like I'm on acid or something. Real slow, making them rocks play music in my mouth.
Nothing is better than meeting someone for the first time, and they say, what do you do? I'm a comedian, the look on their face is priceless. No, your real job, ummm, I am a funny guy that takes the stage, cracks jokes, writes funnies. Always, always, get the response of OH. My god, we live in Grand Island Nebraska, everyone is a comedian, like you haven't meet a real one before. You live in a shell with duct tape over the opening?
But, I have finally conquered all. I meet a couple kids last night, who knew I was a stand up, and bless his heart, he says to his mom, "Does he have alot of money? He is kind of a redneck?" FINALLY I did it. Then she told him I go by Redneck Me. Hummm, it all made sense to him. But, the money part. LOL. I'm so glad a kid finally put 2 and 2 together to figure me out. Kinda scary, my parents still don't have me figured out after all these 29 years.
The greatest moments to keep and make memories come from kids. Bless their hearts. So, you should know the routine, don't be silly, wrap ole willy.