Hinnylick

Cinco de Mayo, what a word? Who needs that stinking mayo when we have miracle whip? I mean that stuff is like David Copperfield magic tricks, you put it on a sandwich and then all of a sudden it is gone. It just disappears. But, when you put just plain ole mayo on it, it sits there, kids act like they are choking, and it don't really do anything.
One way I have found to help with choking is the hinnylick. I am telling you, if I was choking and someone bent me over a chair and licked my hinny, what ever I was choking on would fly up like a covey of quail in a wheat field. Just the thought alone, I would try to make myself choke just to see what it's like. But, I would sure hope some bean-o would be in order, could you imagine trying to save a life and then you get farted on trying to help?
With the American way of cheeseburgers, panera bread, pizza and all the other fatty foods, there ain't no way the ole Heimlich is going to even be in existence much longer, that is unless evolution kicks in again and we all get longer arms to hug these big bears. So, I am going to write down my idea, and make some poster of how to do it that can be hung in cafeterias across the U.S. I think I am really onto something and saving life's. In speaking of saving life, don't be silly wrap ole willy.