Great Day

So, today was one of them normal days for me. It all started when I stopped by the coffee joint this morning. Of course, when I'm in a damn hurry, they are slow, and backed up like a bunch of nano nano's waiting for a new Star Wars movie. So, I make it to the workplace where I put in my time, and time, and time, then decided that I needed some goods from Wally.
So, off I went, like a prom dress, to Wally. When I went in, for christ sakes, the damn blower blew the cap right off my head like a non-ductaped tupay. Then, it dawned on me, all these screwballs trying to be sexy wearing them sugar daddy, elmo, and plaid pajama pants have now turned into chess pieces. GAME ON!!! Knowing they don't tie tight, cause I wear them, ONLY at HOME. I decided to see what was under them pants. I learned by colors, brown, brown and white, brown red and white, blue and white, but oddly nobody was patriotic today, no red white and blue. Of course that would be the ticket to, aunt flo starting, when just got some that morning, wearing her blue bonnett. But, it's not like they can catch me cause their pants are around their ankles. But, man is pink really pink. Thank god for that label, that was a marketing genius.
Then, I decided to split, and go down south to the other Wally store. YEP, we be lucky enough to have 2 people laughing venture centers in town. In that store, I decided that today was a good day to test some leg action. I just ran up to random hotties and grabbed their legs and put my ear up to them. I had no idea you could hear people talk perfectly thru their leg. I was totally amazed. Then I stood up, and said sorry ma'am, my kids just said if I put my ear up to a shell I could hear the ocean, but I'm sorry, your ocean must have dried up. Not to bad, I only got slapped once, but I got 2 phone numbers. See dudes, the ole potato in the pants trick does work.
Then, after sitting here tonight, I decided to meet my neighbors. And out I ran out my door, knocking on all their doors jumping around like a kid on hot coals, yelling, "there's a snake in my boot".