Friends

I have lots of friends, but most are girls. I learned long ago, that if your guy friends are gay, they always have the hot chicks all around them. So, my guy friends are gay, I'm straighter than a carbon arrow. But, I also ain't dumb. We all have those friends that you love to hang with, but they always leave you to corruption of the liver.
I am telling you, they will talk you into waxing your nose, drinking olive juice, and who knows what else. And with them being girls, I think they just wanna take advantage of me. HA, good luck. But, every time I get a text from one, give it 10 seconds the other will holler too. And stupid me, ignores the flashing lights, bells, and whistles of my liver panic notification. And out the door I go, sitting drinking, usually more than I wanted, but damn we have good times. And beings girls, you KNOW they HAVE to have pictures of everything.
But, I had just found out that one of them has her mouth open more than Jenna Jameson going at it like a horse winning the Belmont Stakes. Every picture we have, she is catching flies. Wonder if that has to do with the fact she is the circus leader? She's the one that talks us into everything we never wanted to do. Cause shes a smooth criminal like that. Or so she claims. I guess ole Rubber Jaws is a good nickname for her, if I can just tell everyone to stop calling her the BJ Queen. No she isn't that, but my ex wife's nickname was that, that's why I married her, turns out that was a lie. Nothing like pissing on my shoes.
Well, so if you don't wanna end up with your mouth open all the time, spread something else I guess, but don't be silly wrap ole willy.