Glamour shots

So, cruising down the Internet super highway, well, the one lane of Facebook, a peep decided to add that Glamour Shots being instant SEX APPEAL. Knowing me, and seeing SEX in status, I just to read, and that I did. I don't really know if I read, or puked in my mouth from some of them.I am telling ya right now, if you think 60 wearing hooker lipstick, with fly eyes, and whore hoop earrings is sexy, then OBVIOUSLY you ain't been in my neck of the woods lately.
Many things I have learned in this world. And one is, no matter what, when you take a piece of shit, and toss on a $500 dollar suit, you still have a piece of shit. Kinda like that little black speck on top of chicken shit, no matter how you look at it, it's still chicken shit. I mean, if granny is having a bad day like the day she knocked her teeth off the sink and into the shitter, I guess that would make her yellow teeth sexy again.
There is nothing like getting a birthday card in the mail that has a HOT SHOT picture of your aunt or grandma inside trying to be a modern day hooker. That is just WRONG in many ways. But I tell ya, I jumped onto eHarmony, and all be damn, they are even on there. Cougars everywhere, but I would be pissed if I contacted a hooker and she came to meet me looking like Laverne or Shirley after a hard day at work. Talk about stealing a boner.
So, ladies, please, please, please, there is nothing glamorous or more cheesy then trying to get all dolled up to be something you never will be, if you want to be sexy, take off all your clothes and snap a shot. I mean some of these shots would cause a vibrator to suddenly die, or hide from you. And if you think you can just post that crap to get a date, well, that is the exact reason we find body parts in 55 gallon drums in storage units. Nothing like making a serial killer puke in his mouth too. But, if you happen to find one of them natural beauties, with no whore face, or sex face, and looking good, feel free to share. I'm into realism, not whorism. And if you can't find the courage to find anything else than some fake bait on eHarmony, then keep buying lotion and don't be silly, wrap ole willy.