Get ya some.....FISHIN

As the time draws near, storms in the air, the smell of rain, and roadkill getting raunchy, we all know the favorite pastime is doing some fishin. Which, really makes the think, either you fish, or you don't know Jack. No better way to put it, can you bait a hook without making the worm look like it has been beaten by a machete? Alot of other things in life can be related to fishin, if you don't think so, then grab your pole and read on.
First off, relationships. They are alot like fishin, you try to bait them in, get them to bite, reel em in, and then you have to make the determination of, is she a keeper or do I toss her back for some other jerk to wait for and try keeping? That folks, is the hardest determination to make as a redneck eHarmony member. You know, I like long walks on the beach, a good magazine, as long as they are on the naked beach and porn magazine. Why? Cause I'm a guy and that's how I roll.
Kids, you know, curtain climbers, diaper shitters. They are alot like fishing too. Or some parents make them be to me in my world. Sometimes I just want to look the proud mom in the face and say, "keep telling me about your awesome kid, I love a good fishin story." But for some reason, most would not get it. My grandma always had a point, she loved everyone, and nobody was really a "bad" kid, she use to say, "Oh Johnny, I don't know why he has community service, he is such a good kid, bless his heart." But, obviously, I have been a part of a relationship, the tosser back chick, who's parents just thought she was so awesome she had chipped glass slippers she wore out when she was working her corner. Oh, she is so blah blah blah, and if you ever need anything she will be right there. Ya, exactly, an awesome fishing story, cause the bitch was a liar, story teller, and couldn't be trusted any further than you could toss dog puke out the front door. So, as you are going on and on about your perfect kids, remember, everyone LOVES a fishin story, but only when told by a grandpa.
We all sit around in life, usually on our butts and wait for things to happen. Such as a catfish angler, you toss it out and wait, and wait, and wait, and wait some more. By the time we let our guard down, the big one bites and we grab the pole, reel like hell, fight, and work it to get it to shore. But what are we stuck with? A great big smelly piece of meat that will grunt with whiskers, such as the drunk guy at the bar. So, no matter what you do in life, always expect to be the best angler you can, toss when you have the bait fully on the hook, and never leave your guard down, because chances are, there is something bigger and badder than what you think you can handle will yank that sucker out and it will be gone. Gone like an ex wife. On the other hand, if you happen to get a bite, and set the hook and reel it in, don't be silly wrap ole willy or you will be just another parent sitting around telling your own little fishin story.