Big Man DOWN!!!!

I know I been missing catching up my blog lately, but I have a High School Senior, and that itself requires ALOT of time, money, work, money. Then he is going to be off to college to get a degree, but of course it will be a college close to home, all his hunting ground is around here, if I can get him to class during hunting season, then mission accomplished. I don't care if he's 40 years old living in the basement, yelling for me to stop talking so loud because he's playing his Play Station. Well, maybe I do a tad bit. But here is a breakdown of my summer, and a short piece of my life before.
In April 2000, I was involved in an auto accident. From this accident, I received a fractured L-5 vertebrae, torn left rotator cuff, whiplash, and ended up in pretty bad shape. I was told by 2 doctors I would never run or play golf again, which was cool, I hadn't ran since leaving the military and really didn't think much of out running the cops anymore. I got back on my feet, slowly, and about 2 years later had nerve damage causing me to have drop foot. I have a nice little brace that "pops" when I walk, my duties as a sneaky ninja had to be abandoned.
In October 2006, I was in a second accident, this one was lots more severe beings I already had major back issues. This time, same as the first, I broke 2 vertebrae in my back, T-8, and T-10, bruised my spleen, got some road rash on my buttocks, and received a turtle shell to be in for about 6 months. GREAT, my kids LOVED Christmas that year, Grandma got them suction cup dart guns and guess who got the target on his chest?? YEP!!! In September 2007 I ended up having to have my spleen removed. I gave birth, my spleen was 10 lbs and just over 9 inches long. I guess if I'm going to do something, then make a name for myself, I had the largest spleen on record thru the VA Health System. Still to this day, we have no idea how it didn't rupture, causing immediate death. Guess God had a plan.
On June 8 of this year, my son, the Senior, said he was in better shape than me. That pissed me off, so June 9 I trashed the Docs and started running. Having major back problems, this probably wasn't the best idea I could have done, but at 227 lbs with 3 chins, I had something to prove. I signed up for a Half Marathon to make it my 90 day goal, because I'm crazy I guess. I ran my butt off, I knew I was going to get that Half in just to quiet the kid. 2 weeks before my Half, I ended up getting plantar fasciitis, which is horrible, I could hardly walk. I went limping into my buddy Eric's work, and he said, I have got just the thing for you. YA RIGHT, we've all heard that before. He sat me down, thank God, standing up was a chore. Then he introduced me to AdvoCare Joint Promotion, I said, "dude I have 3 days, I have done everything possible except a shot to get my foot going, I don't care how bad it hurts, I am going to finish my Half Marathon even if I have to crawl." So, I gave in, tried in twice a day for 3 days, ran my half with no problem, I RAN MY HALF, yep. The 2 weeks before I had only got 5 miles total in for running because of my stupid foot. I came back, said I'm ALL IN.
I signed up to help others, to get them to my level of satisfaction in working out and running. Now, I have not taken any of my 6 prescriptions in 8 weeks, which was odd, I've been taking them for YEARS to get by each day.
In total I have lost 67 lbs as of today. I hit 190 and had a difficult time for 2 weeks breaking that bar, so I did the 24 day challenge, today is day 23, and I lost 30 lbs from it. Super easy, I have friends that have lost from 11- 25 lbs. Some workout, some don't. With products so safe, my kids use them, I got my kids started up in the Performance Elite with Muscle Fuel, pre-workout, in 1 week they have already told me how great it's going. Wrestlers, Catalyst is amazing, it was designed to protect the muscle, and help break down the stubborn fat so you can chisel up, and not loose muscle or strength.
The greatest thing about AdvoCare, is the business side. We all get those Spam emails of get rich quick, do this do that. Well, in 7 weeks, I have made better money than any of those spam emails, I feel great, I have energy, and kids love it also.
It's the American way to sit around and take handouts, not to many people want to challenge themselves to loose weight, workout, or anything that is going to cause good in their life. If you don't want to work it as a business with very limited time, then that's your choice, if you want to just buy retail, that's up to you, if you want to save some money and get a discount, then that is all up to you also. I know how much AdvoCare has changed my life, and knowing it's so safe that the Olympics endorse it for their athletes, that says a lot. The really cool thing, it's just now going to blow up across the U.S., so if you want people to know your the AdvoCare go-to person, now is the time. If you want to sit back and see if it's right for you, then more power to you. When there is no minimum orders, no have to orders, no lock in time, what is there to loose? All your doing is hurting yourself, take the leap, I challenge you to try Spark and tell me you don't have energy, and needed a nap. It's an all natural energy drink that taste like Kool Aid and make you happy, everyone deserves to be happy.
Don't be that person that sits around and complains to others about not being happy and having extra pounds. If I dropped 67 lbs with 3 fractured vertebrae, no spleen, drop foot, and other medical issues and am the way I am now, there is no excuse. I have overcome the Medical Odds, and I owe it to AdvoCare for getting me there. If you want to check it out, go right ahead, if you have questions, let me know, there is always something that works, and to have it help you physically and help you add some additional income for Christmas time, why wait??


https://www.advocare.com/140934681/


glmilhon@gmail.com

Get ya some.....FISHIN

As the time draws near, storms in the air, the smell of rain, and roadkill getting raunchy, we all know the favorite pastime is doing some fishin. Which, really makes the think, either you fish, or you don't know Jack. No better way to put it, can you bait a hook without making the worm look like it has been beaten by a machete? Alot of other things in life can be related to fishin, if you don't think so, then grab your pole and read on.
First off, relationships. They are alot like fishin, you try to bait them in, get them to bite, reel em in, and then you have to make the determination of, is she a keeper or do I toss her back for some other jerk to wait for and try keeping? That folks, is the hardest determination to make as a redneck eHarmony member. You know, I like long walks on the beach, a good magazine, as long as they are on the naked beach and porn magazine. Why? Cause I'm a guy and that's how I roll.
Kids, you know, curtain climbers, diaper shitters. They are alot like fishing too. Or some parents make them be to me in my world. Sometimes I just want to look the proud mom in the face and say, "keep telling me about your awesome kid, I love a good fishin story." But for some reason, most would not get it. My grandma always had a point, she loved everyone, and nobody was really a "bad" kid, she use to say, "Oh Johnny, I don't know why he has community service, he is such a good kid, bless his heart." But, obviously, I have been a part of a relationship, the tosser back chick, who's parents just thought she was so awesome she had chipped glass slippers she wore out when she was working her corner. Oh, she is so blah blah blah, and if you ever need anything she will be right there. Ya, exactly, an awesome fishing story, cause the bitch was a liar, story teller, and couldn't be trusted any further than you could toss dog puke out the front door. So, as you are going on and on about your perfect kids, remember, everyone LOVES a fishin story, but only when told by a grandpa.
We all sit around in life, usually on our butts and wait for things to happen. Such as a catfish angler, you toss it out and wait, and wait, and wait, and wait some more. By the time we let our guard down, the big one bites and we grab the pole, reel like hell, fight, and work it to get it to shore. But what are we stuck with? A great big smelly piece of meat that will grunt with whiskers, such as the drunk guy at the bar. So, no matter what you do in life, always expect to be the best angler you can, toss when you have the bait fully on the hook, and never leave your guard down, because chances are, there is something bigger and badder than what you think you can handle will yank that sucker out and it will be gone. Gone like an ex wife. On the other hand, if you happen to get a bite, and set the hook and reel it in, don't be silly wrap ole willy or you will be just another parent sitting around telling your own little fishin story.

Redneck Pickup Lines

My top 10 pick up lines for my redneck ways are about as follows.

#10. Can you lick your butt like my dog? Cause I love flexability.

#9. Hey baby, you remind me of my cousin, can I take you home and bang your head on my headboard?

#8. Something as hot as you must have one really hot mom, can we go back to your place?

#7. I wanna take you out to my pick-up, just to count your teeth.

#6. Gosh baby, you have an awesome grill, can I soak my teeth with yours tonight?

#5. You remind me of my cousin, wanna go out?

#4. I wanna take you out co-ed naked coon hunting.

#3. I have some sex toys in the shape of pick-ups, animals, and guns.

#2b. Whats the chances you and I can go get my truck stuck?


#2a. Mind if I borrow your teeth while I hit on your sister?


#1. If your cousin ain't got ya yet, come out side and I'll take your virginity in the back of my truck.

March Madness

Well it’s that time of year again when you have all these wannabe basketball fans & followers putting money on a table making bets their asses can’t cash. One thing’s for sure though, the winner is going to be the winner and second place will just be the first loser same as it's always been! We as Americans just don’t seem to understand the fact that making bets and getting all emotionally wrapped up in some wide eyed college kids who are most likely more excited about finding a few beers and a date on Saturday night just don’t make sense.

 We have come down a long dirt road though I suppose, from the coach tossing chairs at the refs and players, to him then getting a promotion working at a major network and making him out to be much bigger than he really is. Oh Yeah Baby that makes a lot of sense huh?!?! I sit here and wonder as a “normal guy” college football fan & watcher, when is Sandusky going to have a new show titled “Behind the Bars - An Outlook on Sports”? By the way in case you were wondering, none of us are ever gonna know what, where, and most importantly how that whole mess at Penn St. happened!

 Anywho, one thing will remain true though… we’re gonna place our trust in five kids on a court trying to toss a round ball into an apple basket and score some points so WE can try and make some money off of it! Now really, does that make any sense? If that’s our guide, what IS this world coming to anyway? Take for instance most kids these days, they don’t work, mommy and daddy pay for everything, and on top of that they expect everything given to them on a silver platter… Then we as adult’s are gonna let something they actually DO have to work for, oddly enough, and we try to make us a couple hundred bucks off a lucky wager from their hard work! Now those are some Messed up odds don’t ya think?.

 

So as your sitting your fat butt in your lazy-boy watching March Madness on television, and I’m sitting here on mine watching some good ole hockey, wondering who’s going to get suspended for a game by hitting who, (cause I love me some contact sports), sit back n relax, and remember, white men can’t jump!... Or is that just another messed up belief we have been taught from our upbringing? Well, while that movie attempted educate us and make millions in the theater at the same time, it obviously didn’t do enough, cause in the case of college basketball, there are white people that can jump! So take your bets, slap some money on the table, but just remember when you lose, just don’t be surprised if the wife is pissy, and if you happen to win some cashola off the hard work of those kids, just remember one thing…. Don’t be silly, wrap ole willy. ROCK CHALK!!

Top 10 Redneck Pick up lines

#10. Nice grill baby, is it original?
#9. Your as hot as my cousin, wanna go to my house?
#8. You may not be good enough for your family, but I will lube your chasis.
#7. My cousin is out of town, can you fill the void for me tonight?
#6. My other personality wants to take you home and count all your teeth.
#5. Will your cousin care if you cheated with me?
#4. I bet ya sex you don't have racing strips in your panties.
#3. On a scale of 1-10 I give you a toothless 11.
#2. Dang girl, you look just like someone I worked with at the carnival.
#1. Wanna go to my place and see who makes the best covered wagons?

So there ya have it. My list of top 10 lines. I am sure we could come up with more, because my mind is out there, as we all know. But, in the mean time if one of these lines work for you, remember, don't be silly wrap ole willy.