Last one Standing

Lucky is when you don't leave the bar with the last chick standing. Nothing is worse than taking home a girl that needs a king size bed and no room for you. There is a reason she is the last one standing, and beings she was the only girl buying her own drinks all night does not mean she is classy. The usual signs of the last one standing are very much out there, but you have to drink and pay attention, which are two words that don't mix well with each other.
The last one standing is always dressed with a tight ass shirt trying to just feel good about her over filling middle. Like a big ole jelly donut with 1 swipe on frosting. You wouldn't by that crappy iced donut. Or atleast I wouldn't, I like a donut that makes me know I am going to be fat.
She pays for her drinks, nobody else in the bar is tall and skinny, which is what everyone of those girls end up with. How that is? I have no idea, its like a fly on a curtain, you really have to look to see the fly. But the curtain can smash that fly. Maybe that is the shape it takes to enter the space. There certainly isn't much room in the middle, and we all know she isn't no gymanist.
She pretends she has alot of friends, but when you ask them, they don't associate a friendship level with her. She is running around, giving hugs, acting like old class mates, or the leader of TOPS club. Try hard to fit in, but even sideways, the fit just isn't going to work out for ya.
For some reason, it is always the ugliest girl that thinks she is the hottest. The old line of there isn't a guy here good enough. Shit, there isn't a guy at the bar drunk and dumb enough to ask for a death by smashing. For some reason, died from being smothered, never reads good from a newspaper.
So the moral of the story is, you wouldn't drive a camper to work everyday, so why the hell would you take the big last girl at the bar home? Some cars sit on the lot and never get a testdrive, and some are driven hard, but its' the one with low milage and economical that make night better. Man invented the pillowcase to hide that crap you bring home drunk, but there is no invention to take the scare out of your face when you wake up with such a mess. But the overstuffed ass wrangles are out there, be careful, and remember, friends don't let friends get smothered by fat hairy chicks.