From Kansas

You know your in Kansas when you roll down the highway and all the corn has been replaced by sunflowers. Kansas is a great state, Oklahoma sucks and keeps Texas from falling into Mexico so Kansas is here to stay.
When I went to the grocery store, there was this little gal there with one of them shinny bugers in her nose, they call them noserings down younder, but to me it's a glitter buger. So, I said, hey you go some fairy fart on the side of your nose, and in that Kansas grin she called me a rotten name. Magine that. But only in Kansas can you travel an hour from the middle of the state to the east and be behind a shitting car, or what they call Amish transporter.
Them Amish, ole Caleb, his folks can make some kick butt bread, down at the bakery in Yoder, but the place I like to hang is Great Bend, cuz Yoder don't have a bowling alley. Wonder if Amish can really bowl like King Pen? Where the white are white and the Mexicans run scared. They gots a free zoo down there, and to take a little 5 foot 4 inch person in there, I love to watch them tigers and bears, oh my, lick their chops thinking "snack".
But only in Kansas can you meet a stranger and walk away with a new friend. Stop and spit seeds with a farmer and he tell you lots of good jokes. Catch family mooning other family members on the front porch during Turkey Day celebrations, and meet the coolest people drinking ice in a blizzard in their boxers. Now if they would decide to get a football team at either college, they might really earn a place on my list. To just stop and wonder how the hell I was born in a round hospital confuses me. Specially when they tell you the bathroom is around the corner. But you know your a Kansasan when you have a black and purple wrist tattoo so you see your colors flying at the speed of your hand.
Rock Chalk