Traveling

Nothing beats the feeling of knowing you are going to get out of the home for a short time. But, man, when it's weekend after weekend, I just decided to live my life out of a suitcase. If I was smart, I would just live with my parents during my time I was home, save rent, and utilities, and then just travel some more. On the road you get to see some pretty neat stuff.
Like down in Tex-ass, a speed bump is considered a line of armadillos crossing the road. In Oklahoma, you go from toothless Joe's to tattoo'd Indians back to normals that just talk funny. Iowa has the northerners, where the men are men and the sheep run scared, and South Dakota, is a backwards Oklahoma. Colorado is just colorful, with all the immigrants they let out at night, and Wyoming,,,,,well,,,,,when the wind aint blowing, you ain't gonna see no panties unless you pay for em. And then ya got Kansas, where northeast, they are vowed not to laugh, and the central, where funny is funny, and the west, where English is non-understanding.
But there are many things I love about the road. The achmed running the hotels, what ever happen to the old couple that lived in the apartment behind the counter? Now you walk in, smell BBQ fish, and get a ELLO, HEP YOU? Man, the good ole days. But I guess that is what the world is coming to when we offer 5 star hotels at a 1 star price. Hummmmmm, who knew?
That's about as jacked up as my smart phone, having the screen on one side and the camera on the other. Now I know why they have dash mounts for them, but I shut my damn hand in the door 3 times just trying to skype to my brother. STUPID IDEA, that is a lesson of COMPUTER GEEK FAIL.
So, until you read again, don't be silly wrap ole willy. Oh, and I can now say, leave my woman alone.

From Kansas

You know your in Kansas when you roll down the highway and all the corn has been replaced by sunflowers. Kansas is a great state, Oklahoma sucks and keeps Texas from falling into Mexico so Kansas is here to stay.
When I went to the grocery store, there was this little gal there with one of them shinny bugers in her nose, they call them noserings down younder, but to me it's a glitter buger. So, I said, hey you go some fairy fart on the side of your nose, and in that Kansas grin she called me a rotten name. Magine that. But only in Kansas can you travel an hour from the middle of the state to the east and be behind a shitting car, or what they call Amish transporter.
Them Amish, ole Caleb, his folks can make some kick butt bread, down at the bakery in Yoder, but the place I like to hang is Great Bend, cuz Yoder don't have a bowling alley. Wonder if Amish can really bowl like King Pen? Where the white are white and the Mexicans run scared. They gots a free zoo down there, and to take a little 5 foot 4 inch person in there, I love to watch them tigers and bears, oh my, lick their chops thinking "snack".
But only in Kansas can you meet a stranger and walk away with a new friend. Stop and spit seeds with a farmer and he tell you lots of good jokes. Catch family mooning other family members on the front porch during Turkey Day celebrations, and meet the coolest people drinking ice in a blizzard in their boxers. Now if they would decide to get a football team at either college, they might really earn a place on my list. To just stop and wonder how the hell I was born in a round hospital confuses me. Specially when they tell you the bathroom is around the corner. But you know your a Kansasan when you have a black and purple wrist tattoo so you see your colors flying at the speed of your hand.
Rock Chalk