Nothing beats the feeling of knowing you are going to get out of the home for a short time. But, man, when it's weekend after weekend, I just decided to live my life out of a suitcase. If I was smart, I would just live with my parents during my time I was home, save rent, and utilities, and then just travel some more. On the road you get to see some pretty neat stuff.
Like down in Tex-ass, a speed bump is considered a line of armadillos crossing the road. In Oklahoma, you go from toothless Joe's to tattoo'd Indians back to normals that just talk funny. Iowa has the northerners, where the men are men and the sheep run scared, and South Dakota, is a backwards Oklahoma. Colorado is just colorful, with all the immigrants they let out at night, and Wyoming,,,,,well,,,,,when the wind aint blowing, you ain't gonna see no panties unless you pay for em. And then ya got Kansas, where northeast, they are vowed not to laugh, and the central, where funny is funny, and the west, where English is non-understanding.
But there are many things I love about the road. The achmed running the hotels, what ever happen to the old couple that lived in the apartment behind the counter? Now you walk in, smell BBQ fish, and get a ELLO, HEP YOU? Man, the good ole days. But I guess that is what the world is coming to when we offer 5 star hotels at a 1 star price. Hummmmmm, who knew?
That's about as jacked up as my smart phone, having the screen on one side and the camera on the other. Now I know why they have dash mounts for them, but I shut my damn hand in the door 3 times just trying to skype to my brother. STUPID IDEA, that is a lesson of COMPUTER GEEK FAIL.
So, until you read again, don't be silly wrap ole willy. Oh, and I can now say, leave my woman alone.
Showing posts with label cars. Show all posts
Showing posts with label cars. Show all posts
Thursday, February 23, 2012
Saturday, January 14, 2012
The UFO
Well, until now, my parents never did figure out what happen to the car when they were on vacation. But, I guess the damage is done, and the car is now considered an antique, so I better release it.
My mom won a new pink Mary Kay car, and this was the first of the front wheel drive vehicles. The ole Buick Century. Pepto pink, man, not my color, but the only car in the garage at the time. I was 16 and parents were out of town on a trip, and ya, enough said, they left the keys.
So, started up the pill, and went for a drive. Stopped by to show my buddies a front wheel drive car, and being boys, we went out to see what it could do. And off we went, to the open field a couple blocks away. Slapped her down into OD, and stomped on it to see if it would do a cookie. OBVIOUSLY NOT IN DRIVE!!! But, heck at 16 we didn't know you had to be in reverse to do one. And straight it went, right over a big block of concrete, way up on the side of the damn car, and bam, right back high centered on the damn rock.
SO now, about pissing my pants from about flipping the pepto pill. There were 4 of us that that about ripped all our groins out to lift this thing up so the wheels would hit to drive off the rock. We got er did though. And straight home I went. Parked her in the garage like nothing happen. Until the next day. I was thinking, man, had to goof something up.
So, out to the garage I went, opened the passenger door, and HOLY SHIT, the floorboard was all the way up to the glovebox. I'm only 16 mind ya, but I know that is WRONG. So, the only thing I can find in the garage big enough to pound the thing back down to sea level would be an axe. YEP, so I did it. Sounded like a body shop at a nascar event in our garage for an hour or two. But it went down, minus a couple bumps.
So, off I went to the body shop dude from my dads workplace to get some friendly suggestions. And beings he was older and smarter, he said, OH MAN, I AM STAYING OUT OF THIS ONE. But if I were you, I would try to pull that quaterpanel back down on the back end. So, I left, went home, called a couple friends to help do an Extreme Car Makeover before they came back. I got it all done, except for the pulling the whole tailpipe back down from the floorboard. And when asked, I had no idea, like every other teenage boy.
The thing I learned, when on Vacation, keys go with. And now days, a hidden camera would be a good idea also. But, for 22 years, it was the UFO that came in and hit mom's car parked in the garage. Well, the secrets out. So, don't be silly wrap your willy.
My mom won a new pink Mary Kay car, and this was the first of the front wheel drive vehicles. The ole Buick Century. Pepto pink, man, not my color, but the only car in the garage at the time. I was 16 and parents were out of town on a trip, and ya, enough said, they left the keys.
So, started up the pill, and went for a drive. Stopped by to show my buddies a front wheel drive car, and being boys, we went out to see what it could do. And off we went, to the open field a couple blocks away. Slapped her down into OD, and stomped on it to see if it would do a cookie. OBVIOUSLY NOT IN DRIVE!!! But, heck at 16 we didn't know you had to be in reverse to do one. And straight it went, right over a big block of concrete, way up on the side of the damn car, and bam, right back high centered on the damn rock.
SO now, about pissing my pants from about flipping the pepto pill. There were 4 of us that that about ripped all our groins out to lift this thing up so the wheels would hit to drive off the rock. We got er did though. And straight home I went. Parked her in the garage like nothing happen. Until the next day. I was thinking, man, had to goof something up.
So, out to the garage I went, opened the passenger door, and HOLY SHIT, the floorboard was all the way up to the glovebox. I'm only 16 mind ya, but I know that is WRONG. So, the only thing I can find in the garage big enough to pound the thing back down to sea level would be an axe. YEP, so I did it. Sounded like a body shop at a nascar event in our garage for an hour or two. But it went down, minus a couple bumps.
So, off I went to the body shop dude from my dads workplace to get some friendly suggestions. And beings he was older and smarter, he said, OH MAN, I AM STAYING OUT OF THIS ONE. But if I were you, I would try to pull that quaterpanel back down on the back end. So, I left, went home, called a couple friends to help do an Extreme Car Makeover before they came back. I got it all done, except for the pulling the whole tailpipe back down from the floorboard. And when asked, I had no idea, like every other teenage boy.
The thing I learned, when on Vacation, keys go with. And now days, a hidden camera would be a good idea also. But, for 22 years, it was the UFO that came in and hit mom's car parked in the garage. Well, the secrets out. So, don't be silly wrap your willy.
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