Nothing is better than a free meal, even one with family that stinks. Uncle Leroy leaves his teeth on a side plate, so can't sit by him, and Grammy don't know what is sliding in her depends, so can't sit there either. So I fix my plate, and roll on out to the garage and sit on the back of the pick-up.
This year they wanted me to help cook, so, I stuffed the turkey with popcorn, and when the popcorn blew the ass of the turkey, we knew it was done. I didn't have any stuffing, so I just toasted some bread, cut er up, and poured some turkey gravey on it, made it all better. Round my house we fight for the crispy skin, I ususally win. The trick to a good win is a can of refried beans and topped with a bowl of chili the night before. Still don't beat Uncle Leroys dentures on the damn table trying to eat.
All in all, we have a great meal, cold beer, long naps, and good times. We have alot of other stuff, I don't really know what it is, but it taste okay. It reminds me of Arkansas Roadkill Cafe, it was good, really good, don't know what it was, but man once you got under the hair it was tasty.
So, if you need any help with cooking up a turkey this year just give me a hollar, and surely we can cook er up. And cranberry sauce topped with poprocks is an absolute family stunner.
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