Hitting crap

Over the trials of learning how to drive, I have hit some pretty cool things in my day in my car. Starting from, our mailbox, parents garage door, ran my dad's car into my mom's car, high centered on a rock, and this weekend, I added a dog, coyote, and opossum to the list.
Kinda cool, rolled out of South Dakota early Sunday morning, and for some damn reason, at 3:40 a.m. someone thought it was a great time to let a damn dog out to take a shit by a highway. Well, it isn't that cool of an idea now and they won't do it again, All I seen was this black glare and then a thump thump. I could of stopped, but beings a dog lover, and having 2 1/2 hours more to go, I decided to keep going. It was darker than a Sudanese man with his mouth and eyes closed, all be damn if I was stopping out in the middle of nowhere, the only house around was obviously the people that were going to kill me. So I drove, and just kept thinking, all be damn, never hit on of them.
Then about an hour later, thump thump, God dang again, now this time, the dog was kinda bigger, was a damn coyote. Hit that bastard too, what the hell was he thinking it was early in the morning, he had to see my lights, not even the stars were shining, it was dark. The ole Soul should have high centered on that damn thing, he didn't hit the tires, so the thump thump was more of a kar plug ding dunk dung. The only good thing about it was my bumper was already torn up due to an iceberg jumping out in front of me while I was texting this winter, and is going to the body Dr next Monday. Gotta get my grill fixed.
And then about 30 minutes from home, all be damn if I didn't hit a opossum that was in the road. We call them rats on roids. I have no freaking idea if he was alive or playing dead, and it was still as dark as my ex wife's other personality, and I wasn't stopping for shit. Not that I am afraid of the dark, cause I just maybe, and maybe not, I do know one thing, if I am with someone, I ain't scared of the dark, and I'm not silly, I wrap ole willy.