Numb

Well sometimes the greatest things are where you wouldn't expect to find them. Like at Walmart, back in the kids toys, in the sword and magic isle, they had some spray. It was spray to numb your throat so you could be a sword swallower. The exact thing crossing my mind, was not a sword, but have I got just the chick to test this out. And off home I went.
I called her and told her I had a new toy for her when I came home from Walmart, and you would have thought I bought her a new car, she hopped right in her wheelchair and came over. Bless her heart. I showed it to her, and she said she didn't want to become a magician. So I held her mouth open, sprayed it in there, and unzipped my drawers. Holy zit faced teenagers, before my pants hit the ground, she was down on my like a Russian being shot at. I got to play me a game of operation, I removed some tonsils, and epiglottis, and a I have no freaking idea.
I let her finish, I couldn't do it, I would have went off like a 12 gauge shotgun on a pheasant, probably blew the hair off the back of her head. Kind of crazy I couldn't go, but you can't fake it when they will know. So, her lips were tired, and jaw cramping, so I let her roll back home like a gentleman. And that is when it dawned on me why I couldn't go. After I zipped it up in my fly and felt nothing, that shit numbed me too. Not only did I get the best toy in Walmart, but I got me a 2 in one. So if your looking for a sword swallower and a guy that will LAST, get your ass down to Walmart toy section and get some. But in the heat of the night, don't be silly, wrap ole willy.