Whoop la

Well, being a simple mind, in a simple world, where my visions are kind of like sneaking up from behind and watching what happens. If that makes no sense to you, then here. When I do to the egg section of the grocery store, it fasinates me that they can get them chickens to lay so close to drop them eggs in those cardboard egg holder deals. Imagine how the hands feel from the guy that has to cut off all the stems on the frozen strawberries, I bet they are cold. Who designed the can bisquit to POP after you beat it? That thing is awesome, nothing like taking off the paper and tossing it into bed at your, person of the evening, to see their impression when it blows up.
Some say I am just plan ole sick. But really, I ain't, my views, vision, tunnel vision or whatever you call it, I like to just live each day likes its my last. So, in doing that, I like to call up insurance companies and tell them I need to get a secondary policy on my pecker. Explaining I'm a porn star and if my junk jangles, I'm done. That darn Jeff Gordon got one on his legs, so surely you have something like that for my pecker. The insurance people will look into it and call you back. Ya, call back, of all of them, only 4 did. But man was that not the funniest damn thing I ever done. Try it.
Don't do what I did when you are calling around. I guess everyone has that caller id on their phones now. And why do people call me saying they are cops from a restricted number, and telling me to stop calling this number. I always answer with, I don't call myself you dork, get a job and stop calling me. Well, it looks like they finally traced it down to an address, so off I go, don't be silly wrap ole willy.