Elvis Underware

Everything in the world is for sale if the price is right, and someone has money. Since money don't grow on every tree in a backyard, they need to go global with the sale of something extraordinary. Take Elvis underware for example. First off, how we know it was really Elvis that wore them? Does it come complete with the DVD addition, remake, of Elvis Gone Wild? And then to take and add complete with stains? Really? Maybe we should take a stain, and have a DNA analysis done on it just to show the stain is really Elvis. Now that there stain would be a Hunk a Hunk a Burning britches.
If I had enough money to waste on someone elses 40 year old shit stain in their supposed undies, I would by Madonna's. Sure Elvis is probably a better bargain, or bigger piece for dollar than hers, but man, that would be the only way I would ever be allowed in them. So now in the news, we get to check out how much Elvis shit stained drawers are on auction. What is this crazy world coming to? Next will be Kim K. auctioning off a blow job, oh wait, she hasn't found out she can make money on those yet, she still don't charge.
I can see shoes, cars, his HOT ASS DAUGHTER,  house, but really, we have stooped to a new low world, we are now selling shit stained drawers online and some idiot is going to pay big money for something they can't really prove. I have some awesome Oceanside property on an island down in the Bahamas for sale, comes with a boat dock, I just don't take any pictures cause I leave all my problems behind when I go there, maybe I should sell that.
If you are even putting on a bid for some dirty drawers, just hold your hat, I have some non-stained, ball sweated one's I can sell ya for half the price, and they are a heck of a lot fresher beings I'm still alive. Heck, I'll even swing by Taco Bell right quick before I ship them so you can have a stain too. In the mean time, now that you are thinking of undies, and I'm hot on Madonna's, if she even wears any, don't be silly wrap ole willy before someone finds something else wild and crazy to sell.