Everything in the world is for sale if the price is right, and someone has money. Since money don't grow on every tree in a backyard, they need to go global with the sale of something extraordinary. Take Elvis underware for example. First off, how we know it was really Elvis that wore them? Does it come complete with the DVD addition, remake, of Elvis Gone Wild? And then to take and add complete with stains? Really? Maybe we should take a stain, and have a DNA analysis done on it just to show the stain is really Elvis. Now that there stain would be a Hunk a Hunk a Burning britches.
If I had enough money to waste on someone elses 40 year old shit stain in their supposed undies, I would by Madonna's. Sure Elvis is probably a better bargain, or bigger piece for dollar than hers, but man, that would be the only way I would ever be allowed in them. So now in the news, we get to check out how much Elvis shit stained drawers are on auction. What is this crazy world coming to? Next will be Kim K. auctioning off a blow job, oh wait, she hasn't found out she can make money on those yet, she still don't charge.
I can see shoes, cars, his HOT ASS DAUGHTER, house, but really, we have stooped to a new low world, we are now selling shit stained drawers online and some idiot is going to pay big money for something they can't really prove. I have some awesome Oceanside property on an island down in the Bahamas for sale, comes with a boat dock, I just don't take any pictures cause I leave all my problems behind when I go there, maybe I should sell that.
If you are even putting on a bid for some dirty drawers, just hold your hat, I have some non-stained, ball sweated one's I can sell ya for half the price, and they are a heck of a lot fresher beings I'm still alive. Heck, I'll even swing by Taco Bell right quick before I ship them so you can have a stain too. In the mean time, now that you are thinking of undies, and I'm hot on Madonna's, if she even wears any, don't be silly wrap ole willy before someone finds something else wild and crazy to sell.
Showing posts with label Undies. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Undies. Show all posts
Tuesday, August 28, 2012
Thursday, April 19, 2012
Climate Change
One thing in this world that happens is, we go thru a climate change. The summers are warm, HOT, being I'm from Nebraska. The winters cold, la da la da. Some of us around here believe, that you cannot wear certain clothing articles all year long. For instance, panty hose.
First thing that comes to my mind, is WHY would someone buy such a thing, take 30 minutes of extra stretching, jumping, rolling, cussing, and sneaking to get into these things? Its like wearing 2 sets of undies. That is crazy, but the man who invented them, he was a genius. Probably a stand up comic somewhere, single, lots of ladies, and thought, how can I make something that there is a possibility of a woman accidentally working out naked in front of me. So off he went.
All I know, is in the winter they stay warm to help warm up my ears when they are cold when she's wearing them. And in the summer, it makes a great cheese dip. I often times wondered what exactly a girl does wear up under her panty hoses. So off to Walmart, my find everything store, to lift up dresses to check. I learned that alot of women are all on the period at the same time, and they all wear pads. But, I also learned, that you have a 50-50 chance of seeing a chick in undies vs without. Now, what I didn't understand was why the ones with panties on still had their maxipad on the outside of their underwear. It is probably cause them panty hose are so tight it make them have to pee like a race horse on lasex.
All I know is when they come off and ssssssssshhhhhhhhhooooooooookkkkkkkkkkk, shrink down to Barbie pants, life is grand, and all of a sudden she isn't on the period anymore. They are magic, talk about magic, don't be silly wrap old willy.
First thing that comes to my mind, is WHY would someone buy such a thing, take 30 minutes of extra stretching, jumping, rolling, cussing, and sneaking to get into these things? Its like wearing 2 sets of undies. That is crazy, but the man who invented them, he was a genius. Probably a stand up comic somewhere, single, lots of ladies, and thought, how can I make something that there is a possibility of a woman accidentally working out naked in front of me. So off he went.
All I know, is in the winter they stay warm to help warm up my ears when they are cold when she's wearing them. And in the summer, it makes a great cheese dip. I often times wondered what exactly a girl does wear up under her panty hoses. So off to Walmart, my find everything store, to lift up dresses to check. I learned that alot of women are all on the period at the same time, and they all wear pads. But, I also learned, that you have a 50-50 chance of seeing a chick in undies vs without. Now, what I didn't understand was why the ones with panties on still had their maxipad on the outside of their underwear. It is probably cause them panty hose are so tight it make them have to pee like a race horse on lasex.
All I know is when they come off and ssssssssshhhhhhhhhooooooooookkkkkkkkkkk, shrink down to Barbie pants, life is grand, and all of a sudden she isn't on the period anymore. They are magic, talk about magic, don't be silly wrap old willy.
Monday, August 8, 2011
Socks
I don't mind doing laundry, but I also don't mind the damn sock eating washer. I've always done whites last in hopes that the laundry fairy will swing by and fold socks before I need the dryer again.
Folding socks reminds me of washing a dog, it stinks and if someone else will do it great, but once it is done it feels like you found a free hooker for the night.
One time I avoided them so long I ran out, so I went and bought new ones, 50 pairs to be exact, so I wouldn't have to do them.
I'm not the kind of guy that will wear a g string for my toes to avoid them, they'd not how I roll.but by god, I will have 2 kitchen trash bags full of new ones to avoid them.
And that is why I had to stop buying white undies, besides loving beans. Or I would be going commando more than rambo!!!!! And bike shorts and no undies is not a good thing as I found out. Rolled into walmart that way one day, some kid kept yelling" mommy mommy, that guy has a dog in his shorts". I yelled back, "ya, I'm going to let him to chase your mommy s beaver if you don't be quiet!!!!"
Folding socks reminds me of washing a dog, it stinks and if someone else will do it great, but once it is done it feels like you found a free hooker for the night.
One time I avoided them so long I ran out, so I went and bought new ones, 50 pairs to be exact, so I wouldn't have to do them.
I'm not the kind of guy that will wear a g string for my toes to avoid them, they'd not how I roll.but by god, I will have 2 kitchen trash bags full of new ones to avoid them.
And that is why I had to stop buying white undies, besides loving beans. Or I would be going commando more than rambo!!!!! And bike shorts and no undies is not a good thing as I found out. Rolled into walmart that way one day, some kid kept yelling" mommy mommy, that guy has a dog in his shorts". I yelled back, "ya, I'm going to let him to chase your mommy s beaver if you don't be quiet!!!!"
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