Some Time Off

As most of you followers have noticed, I have taken some time off. Not because I found a woman to make me a sandwich, but the holidays are coming and that always leads to having to switch some show material around, and then trying to figure out how to make it "G" rated. That's like trying to say John Holmes can be a preacher sometimes. I tell ya, I get more frustrated than a puppy locked in a kennel at times. But I think I may have thought of some bits, and so lets test them out like a cheap girl you just snagged from the bar.

Went to my ex's house the other day, and she had a door pillow knitted thing on the knob, which was very suiting beings everyone has had their turn, and the pillow said HO HO HO, so I told her nice name plate. That worked out as good as stealing gas next to a police station for me.

The ole JW's came around, for those of you that are not following, the Jehovah Witnesses, wanted to share their off-beat religion with me, I asked if they believed in Santa, and they said who, I told them to get out how the hell am I suppose to get a new TV for Christmas if I roll their way.

The new Black Ops 2 on PlayStation came out, the last time Call of Duty came out, I regained my virginity, this time I am buying the new game for my teenage son to preserve his.

I keep going to the bar and trying to find me a Santa's helper chick like I see in my DVD collection at the house, I guess I'm going to have to sell it to some Sifi collector.

The good thing about getting crappy gifts for Christmas is that leads to one less present I have to buy next year. Thanks mom.

The elections are really scaring me, have you seen how much Mitt looks like Walter from Jeff Dunham?? We are hoping to get rid of the Cabbage Patch Kid in office now, and replaced with someone with googly eyes and a stick up his ass? What are the odds.

I love snow, I may be about 40 years old, but I've got a lot wiser. When I make snow angels naked in my neighbors yard they always come out looking like a naked chick stopped by.

I love this new photo shop, I can take a picture of a lady at the bar and make her clothes come off, print the picture, and mail an I'm sorry letter with the picture to her husband.

I see you have over 50 pictures with you and your friends at the bars, and only one of your child, maybe you should stay home and pretend to be that great mother your not.

So when your mind is a racing car and your fingers are the track, sometimes lines are good and sometimes not so good. If ya would let me know which are kickers and which are shitters, that would be great. Nothing like having a HUGE audience of participation, I feel like that Bobette guy after my wife drinks slice. Well, don't be silly, wrap ole willy.