My Story

Some who know me, know the story, but most don't. So, here it is, tossing it out there, because if just ONE person reads it, and it makes sense, I have done my job.
It was a perfectly clear morning on October 30, 2006, with some wind, which is not out of the norm in Nebraska, I drove down to Red Cloud to pick up some cattle so people could have some hamburgers and steak for dinner. I was to get 36 but there were only 32 left, so I loaded them. Driving up from Red Cloud, the cows decided to play soccer or something in the back, and pulled me off the right side of the road, and I remember looking straight up in the air, and then a crash and grind. I knocked my semi and trailer onto the passenger side of the cab, and went shooting sparks down the highway. I made it 156 feet, and never crossed the center line. If I had, we would have lost a mother and 2 kids that were headed right at me.
I came to a stop and then tried to climb out, I was in alot of pain, but for some reason I thought the truck was going to blow up, beings I had just filled both tanks with 110 gallons of diesel. But I knew I was hurt. I laid in the ditch until the medics arrived, and then they toted me into the ER in Hastings. I did all I needed to do, and x-rays and all that good stuff, being I could hardly breath or walk.
They gave me 3 codeine pills and said I was bruised up and going to be sore in the morning. Well, it was sore the next morning, I couldn't even move. My parents came down and picked me up from my house in Hastings, and off we went to Grand Island, to the ER. I got me a CT Scan, and then all I knew I ended up being rushed to the VA in Omaha. Whoops, Hastings missed some important stuff and sent me home when I was hurt beyond their care. So I get to the ER at the VA, and doc comes in and says your the guy with the bruised spleen, broken back and ribs. I said, I am??? I knew I was the guy that was just going to have some bruises, but damn, did I fall out of bed last night or what??
Yep, even laying jacked up on pain meds, I can be funny. I was sent upstairs for a hospital stay. I stayed 4 days in which my wife at the time stayed one with me. Which was fine. I got me a turtle shell to wear for about 4 months while my 2 vertebra's healed from being broken, and we watched my spleen like a baby chicken in a coop with a coon. It kept getting bigger and bigger.
Finally, after about 6 months, I came to a point where it was hard to breath, and my spleen hurt. So, we decided we needed to take it out. But the problem was, my platelet count was WAY low. So I had to do some biopsy's first to make sure I didn't have cancer, which on top of everything else, about eats ya up. It all came back that my spleen was hording my platelets, and therefore causing the drop. So we take out the spleen, and I'm in ICU for I think 2 days, still to this day it is fuzzy. My spleen which was 9 inches long and weighed 10 lbs, was the largest they have ever seen, and they have no idea how it didn't burst. If it does burst, you only have seconds.
But in the mean time, my wife at the time, was telling me I needed to get back to work and get a job. While she going to school. Telling me I was worthless, and she hoped I did have cancer. She was only with me in the hospital for 1 day out of a week, and I had to get me some blood and was ONE SICK DUDE. All came out well, I was on the mend, and still getting torn down at home.
In total I was off work for 16 months. That is when it came to me, God has a direction in my life, and no matter what I try to do to avoid what it is he wants me to do, you will loose. So I stopped and took a hard look at things. First off, I needed a divorce, and when I brought it up on time, it was granted, and she tried to keep my son from me for 5 months. But, I just bit my lip, wrote jokes from it, and moved on. With family support.
I got my spleen removed, which means, my immune system SUCKS, if you sneeze anywhere near me, I will be sick the next day. But, other than that I'm just me. I do avoid hospitals. Just for my own sake.
So I got me a divorce, and one day, I was told by a friend I needed to do a show and get back on the road. Well, that is tough, especially starting out, I've been down that road before. So I accepted the challenge, and found out that people can really relate to me, I just bring out the everyday occurrences and make them funny. But in the mean time, the old bitch I got rid of, was trying to bust me down and bust me down. Then she decided to move to keep my son away from me, and moved way out west. He hates it, and isn't happy, the court system just gives me material like D.C. and I'm me, I'm a tough SOB and I know who my God is, and he is the only one going to tell me what to do and not to do. So, I am on the road, doing what I love to do, writing, selling, and working my butt off to become what I call my own superstar. My goal is to have my ex have to see me on T.V. Just to I can get the last smile and grin. Knowing it comes from deep inside. The nights I was trying to heal and she would kick my back, make me mow in my back brace, tell me I was worthless cause I wasn't working, and all along she had herself a boyfriend and that is why she couldn't stay in the hospital with me.
Well, I'm not Karma, one day she will have to answer, and I know she will lie, but it was the bitter chilly morning of October 30, 2006 that changed my life, made me move on, be happier than I ever have, and if I can wake up everyday and make someone laugh, I have accepted my challenge. That is who I am, I don't have time for abuse, I don't have time to sit around and hear how you are better than me because you are getting a Dr. degree online for counseling, I am me, I'm funny, people like me, and I'm going to make it BIG TIME or atleast die trying with a smile on my face and someone elses. I'm no better than anyone, I'm just me, I have been down a dark road and figured out what I needed to do, and am doing it. So, if you come to a show and your sick cool, I'll make you smile and then run so I don't catch it. But everyone needs to stop and think in the world, what can I do to make a better place, what is it that I am really suppose to be doing? If you aren't happy, only you can change it, I can make ya laugh, but that's only temporary.
The joys of life and being tossed some bad cards, I have made the best of it, and I NEVER get real personal to just anyone, but I'm tossing it out there so everyone knows me better than they did yesterday. Crap happens, get up, dust off and move on. Ya I may be bitter about my ex, but that is my right, and it keeps me pumped to exceed my dreams!!! So, don't be silly, wrap ole willy.