Facebook

When we can share the things that happen in our lives with the whole world at a press of a button, from a phone, from a computer, from a tablet. Heck, some are even doing it at work. Changing the way people view people all in a simple blue button that says, "SHARE". Some of the smallest things in the world just amuse me, take spiders for example, I'm a 5'9" balding dude that couldn't scare anything more than a baby, but a spider, that little creature can make a 6'4" dude cry like a baby who just got it pacifier stolen by dog. That's power.
The power to change is to really just an object in the mirror, when your standing in front of it. Everyone has it, some just don't want to know, and others, really don't give 2 dog turds wrapped in tootsie roll papers. But, hey, who's counting? The things people post, share, take pictures of just amazes me. I find myself not even watching the news anymore, heck,  why spend 30 minutes watching some dude gab over something when I can just zip onto Facebook and find out everything we need, from weather, to kids sports, who's winning the game, who had what for lunch, who took the biggest crap, what the weather is doing, and best of all, who is going to get the "Facebook Academy Award of the Day". Just admit it, we read others posts, often time asking, WTF?? Especially when they read mine, it takes all kinds of wild minds to make a News Feed interesting enough to keep people wanting more, it's like a porn addiction to porn addicted person. That made no sense, but anywho, crap, we are so socially networked inside this creature called Internet, that we don't even go to a movie unless half of our friends say it's a must see. Good thing ole Egbert or whoever that movie critic was has passed away, he'd would have fallen off the job market now.
I understand that your son won his first soccer game, congrats, but I don't understand why you would want to share all of your business and drama inside your personal life with the world? Does Facebook send you a Sympathy card for making crazy decisions? If so, maybe I should retake this offer. I love mail, especially junk mail. That's awesome you want to eat sushi, the raw fish with some rice in it, please don't post a picture, if I wanted to see a picture of sushi I'd Google Image it. But one thing is for sure, in today's world, when you can take a picture, and have it automatically sync with your Facebook account has become ever so entertaining. Nothing is better than that naked selfie you took to send off to someone, and BOOM, all of a sudden it is on your Facebook, now that's classy. Talk about Facebook making some extra cash, why don't they open up a site just for that, Facebook Honey's, just like the ole Hustler Honey's?? BAM, million dollar industry there Zuckerman. Although this has happen a couple times, I must add not to me, but friends, or what were friends of mine until they figured it out and deleted their pages, I find this funnier than a 3 legged dog trying to catch it's tail.
But, on the other side of the plate, lets talk about how Facebook is always making recommendation's for us. Like we have ever sat down and got to actually meet each other, you have no idea what rolls thru my head, nor do you want to. And if you did, you'd be so damn scared how fast my mind travels you'd be trying to can it and use it for rocket fuel to power the next spaceship. Facebook, you know nothing about me, why in the heck would you recommend a friend to me that I have no pleasure of knowing, and really honestly may dislike their point of view on things. For example, why would you recommend Michelle Obama as a friend? So I can read all her post about how kids are fat and eating turkey bacon for over-priced school lunches is going to make my kid skinny up? Obviously NOT. First off, you know nothing about school lunches, and what you do know is they were free to you when you were growing up, they use to be good, a good way for kids to eat and get energy. You couldn't pay me to eat this crap on paper trays you have them eating, make your kids eat it if it's so damn good, or don't they allow they fake meat in private schools? Obviously not, as you sit back and sip on your Diet Coke and giggle at turkey bacon.
We have all came to know a part of our social media, connected with people we lost touch of, got to check out people we had no idea who they were, and really we have damn good nominations for Facebook Academy Awards. So, as I sit here and giggle how I know you all have Facebook, and that's how you got caught reading this blog, because it was the only social media site I shared it with, just remember, you too my friend, got caught catching up on drama, getting a giggle and asking yourself WTF is Gabe thinking!!! May the night be long, the sleep be good, but if ya don't sleep right away, don't be silly and wrap ole willy.

WHEW

Man, I tell ya, I've been busier than a dollar hooker working the Vegas Strip. From getting custody of my son, WHOOP WHOOP, to trying to figure out what this itch is in my new underwear. Some of the craziest things have been going in this world, and ya, I can spit out a fast facebook status about it, but obviously I have not had time to attend to my blog. Which I appoligize. Going from a every other weekend dad to a 24/7 dad of a kid playing 4 sports has gotten the better of my time, ya ya ya, excuses are like assholes, everyone has one and they stink. In great days, ways, shapes, and forms, I have noticed Victoria has a Secret,,,still, and I have a secret for them. My name is Gabe and I am not a girl, when you send me a little mail for a free panty let me tell ya, those things make for the image of the balls hanging on the yard game "Ladder Game". There just ain't that much room in the front of those free panties. Spliting the boys like a cedar tree on a log splitter. But, in latter news, I have decided I am NOT going to step on a scale, not until scales can measure SEXY and deduct that off my spare tire gut and make me feel better about myself. I have noticed that I am getting pretty thin on the top of my head, the head on my shoulders. I called Bosley, asked for a sample or brochure on their treatment. Oddly enough what I found out is that they take hair from other places and plant it back into the thinning area. When I told the chick I didn't want to become an actual Butthead or Dickhead, she didn't even giggle. Obviously she didn't understand, or it took off over her head like a High School Prom Dress, either way, I thought that was some funny crap. I was proud. I've noticed that when you kid is 6'1" and I'm 5'9" and his mother is 5'2", there seems to be maybe some DNA matching that needs to be done, especially when the UPS man is 6'3". Hey, I know he's mine, I remember the night of duct tape and handcuffs. You talk about being a comedian and having a kid that is all book smart and ding ding dingy on common sense, have I got more material off this kid the last few months then the public health clinic has had crab cases. From him telling my all mice are blind because haven't I ever heard the song "3 blind mice". So I told him there were 3 doors to hell, hasn't he heard of the group 3 Doors Down? He didn't get it. I have what they call a work in progress, I have got to get this kid to come around in 1 year before he is on his own and makes me look like I have kept him in a shell his whole life. On a lighter side of the world and it's issues, time is what you make of it. Posting about your husband being deployed for 12 months, and then posting he is finally home is great news. Then posting within the first 24 hours of him actually being home in your bed, I see there maybe an issue. I know if I was gone for 12 months deployed in the military and came home, the last thing my wife would be able to do is make a Facebook post, I'd have her so worn out she would try to sleep but I'd be like that crazy dog riding her leg. A mans a man, if ya ain't naked, atleast be making us a sandwich, and hey, while your making it, just do it naked, no sandwich is a sandwich without Miracle Whip. Just when your doing it, don't be silly and wrap ole willy.

The World Today

The world we live in today is about as messed up as a 3 legged chicken trying to run from a coyote. The things that are going on, the happenings of the world and what we are creating would even have aliens wondering what the heck are those earthlings doing. The problem all starts from us, as individuals, people who elect people to a higher power to distroy our nation and blow smoke up our ass while they are doing so. Back when I went to school, we got in trouble for gum, candy, lifting up a cheerleaders skirt walking down a hallway, honking a teachers nose, we didn't have drugs and guns in school, we were sent to the pricipals office only to have them threaten to call our parents, one who was usually home beings it didn't take 2 parents with 3 full time jobs to make it in this world. Our parents would spank our butts, talk some sense into us, and spank us more. It didn't kill me, it made me a better person, and therefore, I'm no scared to spank my kids. Now spanking and beating are 2 different things in the world now, we didn't have people kill their own kids from beating them, going off on the deep end. That's a total different topic of all its own. We lived in a world where we never heard that kids are obese, we were kids, some of the few had Atari games, but big deal, you can only jump on an alligator head and swing on a rope for so long. We went outside, called some neighbor kids over, played sandlot baseball, football, soccer, or stole the neighbors dads Playboy magazine and hid in the bushes dreaming of our future wife. We lived in a world where we weren't told we couldn't pray in school, when our teacher was sick and we had a sub for the day, when we got home we called the teacher saying we missed her/him, and told them to get well so we could get rid of this crazy old sub. We worked toward goals, achievements, we may have teased someone, but we our kitchen table always had a plate for them to come eat with us, because we knew how to forgive, express our feelings, not be angry or bitter. In todays world, we have problems with guns and drugs taking over schools, and public places. The guns don't just reproduce there, and drugs don't just grow in malls and schools. It takes someone to carry these things in, but in most of the cases, actually almost ALL CASES of public shootings, or school shootings, it was someone who was mentally unstable that caused the mess. But why is this? We had mentally unstable people in our world as kids, we had guns, and heck, I know there was drugs, I heard all about the 70s times. Heck, why would it have skipped the 80's and 90's? That's odd. Well, I'm sure it didn't, it's because our political leaders have taken it upon themselves to try to make the world better, to give everyone a fighting chance, to ignore the real issues we have in Society as a whole. These leaders have shut down Mental Health Hospitals, made cut-backs to mental health, all in a fear that someone wouldn't be treated equally. They have even went as far as sending our troops to war, to have them come home, fighting with demons in their heads from PTSD, and never blinked an eye to help them more than they could because of the dollar. But we are going to try and take guns from everyone, even those who can have guns, because rather than fess up and say what has really happen, we are going to give excuses, make it seem like guns pull their own triggers, they load themselves, they are killers. It's not really the hand on the gun, no not really, it don't make sense some mentally unstable person would kill people, and harm many others, it has to be the guns themselves. Well Washington D.C., guess what, excuses are like assholes, everyone has one and they stink. You have created this mess we are in, now it's time to fess up and understand the decisions you are making, the changes for the better are actually worse, and I'm NOT GONNA GET OBAMA CARE because it sucks too. Every single one of you have no idea what drastic influences you have done to make this world a messed up place. We sure didn't hear of shootings in schools when Bibles were in, we didn't have kids at home raising themselves when the economy was good. What can be done? Let's stop and take a real approach. Oh, while your at it, why haven't you taken the book Webster wrote out of schools too? Probably because you didn't know that before he wrote the first dictionary he could resite the Bible word for word. Well isn't that a shocker? The problems we have in this world all stem from changes for the better that have came down from Federal and State Leaders. Obviously nobody understands, we are all just wanting everything and everyone to be equal, we don't want to hurt someone's feeling by telling them they need mental help, we don't want to be the one that will step up and make a change because then we are going to have bad ratings. If we as the people of this country don't come together, help support each other, then we wouldn't have half the problems we have. If jobs would pay the same as they did when I was a kid to have a parent home, to help take care of the needs of children, we would have less failures in the world. If you can't take on the world head first and put yourself in our shoes rather then worry about which rich idiot isn't going to give you a million dollars for your next campaign, then do us all a favor and don't even run. And parents, the way you let your kids act while living at home, letting them do the things they do, is directly proportionate to the way they will become. We all need to step up as parents, don't allow back talk, don't allow kids to not have respect for others, and if you don't take your kids to a church on Sunday, that is also your failure. Buying your kids what they want, never letting them go without, never letting them have to buy things is just leading up to economic failure when they leave the house. Kids need to experience work, not just show up and wait for a check, how to perform the work without thinking the world owes them anything. Teach you kid how to respect teachers, teachers spend more time with your child than we do as parents, if your kid don't like a teacher, or a teacher doesn't like your kid, maybe there is an issue that is reflected on how the parenting skills are being used. Nobody can change the world by themselves, someone with a bad idea can cause havoc in the world with ONE changed thing, and we as Americans need to work together to help this place out.