Spandex

Okay, Ms 300, spandex is way beyond what it could do to you 150 pounds ago. Now what is going thru your head to think that man made stuff was going to hold you in? Now that I just puked a little in my mouth. I am going to add, and that shirt? That ain't true you can hold your muffin top back from being a cupcake. Spandex were invented when schools wouldn't let girls go to school naked.
It was to help guys out, by letting us see your beautiful curves, and the outline to heaven. Or whatever you refer to it as, shaved kitty, kitty, beaver, fish with no smell, bearded clam, raw oyster, eeeewwwww think about the half shell. Okay. Anywho, a man invented such an item to get us aroused, and have women pay money on something to make us do it. HELLO Victoria, it isn't a secret, your a ho!!!
Now someone explain to me why when I wear them, people laugh. That just isn't right. They drool on the women and laugh at me. What the hell is it? I have the potato in the front, they really laugh when it is in the back, but a great way to cut in a line somewhere.
All I know is, obviously man is making them suckers to big, to hell with save the whales, save the material and make 2, then they will good in that crap. Just remember, you can't squeeze the dimples out of a golf ball, so calm down there Julie Brown and back on up to the parachute pants. Thank you. But the babes who can wear them, HELLO, keep doing what your doing cause I am wanting to do you, and not even be silly, and wrap ole willy.

Plumbers Crack

I remember when I was a kid, a couple years ago, our parents always to pull up our pants. Nobody wants to smell your butt crack, wear a belt, need suspenders, and usually with me, it was mom telling me to zip up my zipper too. But, one thing has surely changed now a days.
We went from not being able to get our pants up far enough, to see who can have their pants on lowest. I sure don't a mind it at all, I mean, I get to excited about Victoria Secrets, little do I need see to get to that level. Man, I tell ya, I seen a crack with a tramp stamp on today bigger than Rosie O'Donnel back end with pillows on her sides. I was at complete slobberness, and just totally amazed at how smooth her butt looked, made me just wanna walk up there and pinch it like a little baby's cheeck. But, some how I managed to hold myself back, that was like holding a pitbull back when Michael Vick walks by. But some of them muffin tops, the ones that look like the bread has been on rise for 3 days, I can't imagine who the hell is telling them they look good in them low rise jeans, but I would love to find him. And when your looking for him, also find the dude that put the camera on one side of the phone and the screen on the other, and gave me skype app. That's a bunch of crap when you figure that out right out of the shower when talking to your brother. But, in the mean time, the nice butts keep on trucking them pants lower, I ain't a complaining, nothing beats a good clean crack. But the other ones who like to show butt hair and cling-ons when ya bend over, please check back into the 70's.
If you happen to find some nice buns in so low riders, shoot me a pic, heck it don't hurt to share them things anymore. But until later, don't be silly wrap ole willy.