Really

I often times think to myself what goes thru a persons head to post updates of things? For example, all these pictures of your uterus on my wall. Nothing like looking at a chick from the inside out, I mean that makes me more excited than getting to be a guest jackman at a NASCAR race. So, then when I am out being naughty, or out in public, I not only have to look at you and say HI, but men like me are thinking, hummm, I seen your uterus, it's kinda like sex bi proxy.
It kind of reminds me of when you use to tell someone you rubbed your dick all over the steering wheel, so really they are stroking me off. I mean, that kind of stuff is kinda borderline porn in my world. I think about how, what, when, why that picture even came into existence. Kinda crazy in my world, I guess some would say I am a pervert, but I guess I'm not on the net looking at real live porn, so pervert isn't really the word I would pick. Maybe a horndog, that might make a close call. But, who's counting?
And, man, I tell ya, I just can't wait for these High School graduations, it's going to be like I am planning my kids graduation. Shit, I had to skip 2 weddings, not just because they were suckers and I didn't want to cry, or bust out objecting trying to save my pal. But because why go when you post the every move? I'm walking down the isle, I am nervous.......I DO........I still do...........getting rice thrown in my eyes, thanks people, for making this the best day of my life. I said that once, but I had to regret it the day my divorce was final, cause really, that was the best damn day of my life. Nothing like writing one off, and someone else taking it on. More power to ya, I mean, personally, I wouldn't want my seconds, but hope I taste like chicken.
So, now that you are showing the world your uterus, and the kid you had hot passionate sex to make, and everything else that goes with it, I would like you to order up some Adam and Eve catalogs, and get ya some of them condoms, so you don't be silly and wrap ole willy so I don't have to see your uterus again. Please? Thank you.

Oreos

Often times, you hear people say there is no wrong way to eat an oreo. I call bologna. WOW, thanks Oscar Meyer for helping me spell BOLOGNA. But, anyways, you can dunk them, crunch them, spread them all over your teeth to gross people out. No matter what, you are actually eating them.
Now, the person that breaks them apart and then licks off all the frosting then eats the cookie part? Comeon, are you the person that drags their finger across a birthday cake to try the icing before the cake? Go to a wedding and steal all the frosted pretties on the cake before the bride wears it all over her face?
What good is the frosting without the cookie? Just go to the damn store and buy a tub of frosting and dig in, save the real cookies for me and Mr. Roberts milk. I mean, nothing is better than a milk soaked cookie, with double stuff anytime of day.
Don't be silly, wrap your willy. I don't know where that came from, but I typed it.
I should of believed. Like I do in the OREO GOD!!!!