You kidding ME

So I get a phone call the other day. A friend of mine needs a jump start, they just got back from the Military, and the car has been in storage out on the farm. So, beings the only one that was able to go help. I show up.
Walk all the way out to the shed, where the car is, and with a portable jumper, that obviosly hadn't been charged for a long time. So we walked all the way back to the other garage to find jumper cables.
On the search for cables, which none were found, and shocked me. I have never been on a farm where there are not jumpers on every wall or laying on the floor of every out building. But, theres a first for everything. We did, however, find a battery charger. BUT, the location and distance of where the car is, was way to long for a cord.
So someone, has the idea of lets push the car over there to charge it. I said, hell no, that's a half a mile. So, as I am pushing the front of the car and they are inside driving, titled good help, panting like a dog. Got er out of the door, and now the long drive to the other garage. So, I push, and push, down fresh gravel mind ya. Finally, after pushing the damn thing down the drive, mind ya without a chew, and can't hardly breath cause the drive was half a section of a cornfield.
I gathered my beans and hooked up the charger. So, now some jumper cables are enroute, and the question comes, DOES RED GO ON RED AND BLACK ON BLACK??
I about died laughing. Really? Did you miss that day of drivers ed? I knew you were special, but holy cow. Then the phone rings, and guess what. The cables are in the pickup, that is NOW, 5 feet from the new location of the CAR. God bless, soooooo. Unhooked the charger, hooked up the cable and zippy do dah. She started right up, puring like a kitten.
First off, if the car was in storage at your parents house, why didn't you have someone start it every so often? And really, we needed to push the car all the way over here to jump it? Some people, some people. Wait, maybe they had the keys with them in their pocket so nobody used the car,,,,,,,,nope, they were on the key hanger in the house the whole time. DAMN.
Well, lesson learned, match the colors, look, and always start the thing to keep it charged. So, don't be silly, wrap ole willy.