All of us have that one special friend we don't hear from for days, and then all of a sudden out of the blue, or maybe red or orange, the color is all in your head, heck I'm colorblind anywho, and then we get the text,,,,,Can I borrow $20 until Friday. The first thing going thru my head is, do I have an extra 20 I can part with in my life? We all know you won't see it again.
So I got this idea, I'm going to text my friends about once a month and ask for money. If I have 5 people that will part with a 20, that is an extra 100 in my pocket. That is about like setting up a PO Box, and running an add in a paper or magazine and telling people to send a self addressed stamped envelope to me and I can tell them how to make hundreds of dollars. I will print off instructions and they will be kind of like this.
Set up a PO Box in a business name.
Run add in paper or magazine, the same add you answered.
Print off these instructions, stuff into their envelope, take your $5 you get from the sorry bastards that mailed it to you and do something with it.
Mail these instructions back to people letting them know not only are they suckers like you, but there are many more people in the world like them, and don't get any paper cuts.
Now is that an idea or what? Oh wait, you'll have that one friend that will text and ask for money to place the add, and as we all know, when you lend money to a friend, you might as well light it on fire and watch it go cause your never gonna see it again. I personally don't ask to borrow clothes, so why money? But if ya happen to find some sugar mama that can spare some dollars as change, don't be silly and wrap ole willy.
Showing posts with label friends. Show all posts
Showing posts with label friends. Show all posts
Wednesday, October 17, 2012
Saturday, February 18, 2012
What a time
So, as I was sitting with a bunch of friends around the table on night. They kept telling me about this crazy friend they had. The one that would walk around with his zipper down just to see if anyone noticed. I thought, all be darn.
Then they went on to telling stories of how he can table dance, and get about any chick to do anything. Then, I thought, what a man. Stories of how he can just walk into a bar or any place and tons of people come up to him and just sit and laugh and laugh. Man, what a guy.
But, when they started out telling stories of how he was streaking in his undies directing traffic in an intersection, and knocking on windows of peoples bathrooms, and when the cops chased him for letting all the 4-H animals out down at the Adams County Fair Grounds in Hastings the night before he got stupid and got married. That is when it dawned on,,,,that crazy SOB is me.
No other dude in this world can say that he was chased by the cops, with a hand in cast, because he smashed it 2 days before at work, and STILL managed to get all the animals out of the 4-H barn to run loose.
But some of that stuff, I wish I remembered half of those funny things I have done. But, in the mean time, I have figured out, I am making a lasting impression on people who meet me, and people who know me. Never a dull moment. Never. But, just take one thing from me, don't be silly, wrap ole willy.
Then they went on to telling stories of how he can table dance, and get about any chick to do anything. Then, I thought, what a man. Stories of how he can just walk into a bar or any place and tons of people come up to him and just sit and laugh and laugh. Man, what a guy.
But, when they started out telling stories of how he was streaking in his undies directing traffic in an intersection, and knocking on windows of peoples bathrooms, and when the cops chased him for letting all the 4-H animals out down at the Adams County Fair Grounds in Hastings the night before he got stupid and got married. That is when it dawned on,,,,that crazy SOB is me.
No other dude in this world can say that he was chased by the cops, with a hand in cast, because he smashed it 2 days before at work, and STILL managed to get all the animals out of the 4-H barn to run loose.
But some of that stuff, I wish I remembered half of those funny things I have done. But, in the mean time, I have figured out, I am making a lasting impression on people who meet me, and people who know me. Never a dull moment. Never. But, just take one thing from me, don't be silly, wrap ole willy.
Thursday, January 12, 2012
You kidding ME
So I get a phone call the other day. A friend of mine needs a jump start, they just got back from the Military, and the car has been in storage out on the farm. So, beings the only one that was able to go help. I show up.
Walk all the way out to the shed, where the car is, and with a portable jumper, that obviosly hadn't been charged for a long time. So we walked all the way back to the other garage to find jumper cables.
On the search for cables, which none were found, and shocked me. I have never been on a farm where there are not jumpers on every wall or laying on the floor of every out building. But, theres a first for everything. We did, however, find a battery charger. BUT, the location and distance of where the car is, was way to long for a cord.
So someone, has the idea of lets push the car over there to charge it. I said, hell no, that's a half a mile. So, as I am pushing the front of the car and they are inside driving, titled good help, panting like a dog. Got er out of the door, and now the long drive to the other garage. So, I push, and push, down fresh gravel mind ya. Finally, after pushing the damn thing down the drive, mind ya without a chew, and can't hardly breath cause the drive was half a section of a cornfield.
I gathered my beans and hooked up the charger. So, now some jumper cables are enroute, and the question comes, DOES RED GO ON RED AND BLACK ON BLACK??
I about died laughing. Really? Did you miss that day of drivers ed? I knew you were special, but holy cow. Then the phone rings, and guess what. The cables are in the pickup, that is NOW, 5 feet from the new location of the CAR. God bless, soooooo. Unhooked the charger, hooked up the cable and zippy do dah. She started right up, puring like a kitten.
First off, if the car was in storage at your parents house, why didn't you have someone start it every so often? And really, we needed to push the car all the way over here to jump it? Some people, some people. Wait, maybe they had the keys with them in their pocket so nobody used the car,,,,,,,,nope, they were on the key hanger in the house the whole time. DAMN.
Well, lesson learned, match the colors, look, and always start the thing to keep it charged. So, don't be silly, wrap ole willy.
Walk all the way out to the shed, where the car is, and with a portable jumper, that obviosly hadn't been charged for a long time. So we walked all the way back to the other garage to find jumper cables.
On the search for cables, which none were found, and shocked me. I have never been on a farm where there are not jumpers on every wall or laying on the floor of every out building. But, theres a first for everything. We did, however, find a battery charger. BUT, the location and distance of where the car is, was way to long for a cord.
So someone, has the idea of lets push the car over there to charge it. I said, hell no, that's a half a mile. So, as I am pushing the front of the car and they are inside driving, titled good help, panting like a dog. Got er out of the door, and now the long drive to the other garage. So, I push, and push, down fresh gravel mind ya. Finally, after pushing the damn thing down the drive, mind ya without a chew, and can't hardly breath cause the drive was half a section of a cornfield.
I gathered my beans and hooked up the charger. So, now some jumper cables are enroute, and the question comes, DOES RED GO ON RED AND BLACK ON BLACK??
I about died laughing. Really? Did you miss that day of drivers ed? I knew you were special, but holy cow. Then the phone rings, and guess what. The cables are in the pickup, that is NOW, 5 feet from the new location of the CAR. God bless, soooooo. Unhooked the charger, hooked up the cable and zippy do dah. She started right up, puring like a kitten.
First off, if the car was in storage at your parents house, why didn't you have someone start it every so often? And really, we needed to push the car all the way over here to jump it? Some people, some people. Wait, maybe they had the keys with them in their pocket so nobody used the car,,,,,,,,nope, they were on the key hanger in the house the whole time. DAMN.
Well, lesson learned, match the colors, look, and always start the thing to keep it charged. So, don't be silly, wrap ole willy.
Monday, July 11, 2011
Catch up
When women meet up with someone they haven't seen forever, they talk, and talk. Hows life, where you live, kids, married? Spend HOURS catching up, making plans.
They come home, tell us, like we really know who the heck they are even talking about. Then add the, oh by the way, her and her husband are coming over on saturday for diner. I have friends, who I thought were going to come over and watch the game, guess party is on, and say hello to the new guy.
We don't like meeting the other half of your hot friends, they are the one we are going to take her from when you leave us, please don't ask him to come over and be our friends.
But when we meet someone we haven't seen for years, we walk up, hey, what's up? Nothing, and you? Nothing. We come home tell you we ran into so and so. And we get 20 questions, kids, wife, where's he working? My god, we didn't get his social and a background check. Crap we got caught up in 5 words. Sorry, next time I will bring him home and you can interrogate him.
Why are girls so much drama?
They come home, tell us, like we really know who the heck they are even talking about. Then add the, oh by the way, her and her husband are coming over on saturday for diner. I have friends, who I thought were going to come over and watch the game, guess party is on, and say hello to the new guy.
We don't like meeting the other half of your hot friends, they are the one we are going to take her from when you leave us, please don't ask him to come over and be our friends.
But when we meet someone we haven't seen for years, we walk up, hey, what's up? Nothing, and you? Nothing. We come home tell you we ran into so and so. And we get 20 questions, kids, wife, where's he working? My god, we didn't get his social and a background check. Crap we got caught up in 5 words. Sorry, next time I will bring him home and you can interrogate him.
Why are girls so much drama?
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