Got YA

There are certain things in life that I love to watch curiosity kill the cat. So, I think of crazy things, say crazy thing, and the king of pranks. Jackass would have shit if they knew some of the things I have pulled off in my days. Oh of course, you don't heal as fast or good when you get older. I snap, crackle, and pop more getting out of bed then pop rocks in the mouth of a women going..........get your mind out of the gutter, going down the hall. Gees.
One thing I read about just struck my mind like a ballpean hammer on the head of my ex. It is a rusty trombone, well, that's what its called. So being me, knowing this is a new trend, and I mean if you ask me a hell of a way to eat corn. So, now that you have urban dictionary it already. But, to say something on Facebook, and having a comment from a guy, and then a comment from his wife, obviously, if that doesn't stand up and shout out KARMA SUTRA owners I don't know what does. I mean whew, got me all excited, I was going to ask them to join my softball team, named SWINGERS. But, I would be the third wheel. I can't get a woman if I paid for one, even when I do that the damn cops break us up and always take me to the bed and breakfast and she stays working the corner. Pisses me off worse than a lightning bug stuck in a mason jar in the daylight.
But, now that I have killed your cat, and you are now educated on what the new trend is. Google it some more, find out about the tattoo, there's your sign. Well, don't get yourself in a shitty situation, don't be silly wrap old willy.

Playground

Well, outside my place happens to be where the kids toys are. Not because I have all the kids, but I have all the white kids. So, today, I was looking out the back window, and obviously it is nice enough to wear pants that have so many holes they contain less fabric than shorts, with the ole sweatshirt tied around their neck. Some chick, and her chick friend, I would guess about 12 or 13, I'm not into checking kids out, so I may be off on the age. But I wonder if her mom is hot?
So, anywho, I was just sitting there thinking to myself, more than likely out loud also, cause I'm the only one here and my plants stopped answering me when I stopped watering them. I need to take a trip over to Walmart and get me a BB Gun, or paintball. I think a BB would make alot cleaner mess, so a BB gun is what I need. That way when they start their screaming outside, I can just "pop" that BB off and quiet them kids down. I mean, what would that hurt? I would be able to do it without even leaving the appartment. Plus, a BB really don't hurt with just 1 pump, but ask my brother how it feels after 10.
So, back on these swingers, well not yet, they are young. That one girl sat down on that swing like it was a G-Swing, Jesus tits, it made me whistle how tight she had that up there. That is when I knew someone was going to get hurt, and seeing a girl get hung by her hips was not what I wanted to see, so I shut up the window. Well, shortly after that, her mom came down, and she is HOT. So, I gotta go, don't be silly, wrap your willy.