Motorcycle Dude

What is it about great big dudes in leather that all these chicks just can't get enough of? I mean, little chicks, and big ole motorcycle guys. I don't get it, don't he split you open like a can opener in the heat of the night? I mean, gosh darn, I guess I need more McDonald's and a Harley to check this out. And why do they get a bad wrap? Those guys are the funnest people around.
If I was as big as some of them, I would go into a bar and just toss people around like panties in the night. But, I guess I'm not, I have a hard time holding my thing when I'm peeing, let alone some hairy skinny guy. So the other day, I got me some clothes, that I thought came with the attitude. I got some chaps, one of them bandoleer things for my hair, some boots, and ripped off the sleeves to an American Eagle shirt to go out and be Mr Badass. Something about a dude in a SOUL just didn't start the night off right.
So I climb out of the car, skipping steps up to the door because I can, damn near fell twice. Swung open and door, and the original thing happen. It got completely QUIET. So I click clunked my way up to the bar, shoulders back, chin up high to stretch out my double chin, and fist's clinched. That's when I started hearing the giggles. No everyone knows, you don't laugh at the big bad guy at the bar.
I have no idea what this bars problem was. You think it was the pink shirt? Pink flame bandoleer on my head or my red shit kickers? I have no idea, tough is tough, but I figured out it had to be I forgot to shave my ass before I put on the chaps. There was no reason to be silly and forget to wrap ole willy that night.