My Blog

You know, when I first found out how to blog, thanks Unrue, I figured WTF, and not welcome to facebook, it's so easy a redneck caveman can do it. It is just so funny how I can go back in time and read how my mind is an endless adventure and you, and me, really know what is going to come out next. Its kinda like taking up a dare to get in the hottub when there is a hairy dude in there that looks like he is wrapped up by seaweed.
And then, people come up to me, I love your blog, NO CRAP? Me too, never have I had this much fun since I was 14 and discovered lotion. It is great. I can go out in my old world and travel like the Jetson's, not to be confused by the Jeffersons, and just write. Maybe I can sell this stuff to a shrink or something. Ah, what is the use for that?
But, to just run and jump on a page to make others laugh, and then do a stand up, remembering the title and not remembering what I had typed makes it all more fun. It's kinda like sex, or not, or maybe kinda. Maybe not really the laugh part. But I did figure out the other night, my girlfriend belives in the 5 second rule. I got all into it, like a LJ Jenkins riding a bull, and fell off the bed, and YUUUUUUPPPPP, she picked right on up before the 5 seconds and finished. Now that's a keeper. Other than the concussion, bruised ribs, and black eye, that was the time of my life right there. I looked like Justin Bieber in high heels I was so proud.
But, anyways, I hope you all enjoy my endless mind adventures, and keep reading. Cause even for real, in my life, when I talk, nobody can predict what is going to come out. I have got the "if you embarrass me one time" speech more than Chris Brown hearing "don't hit me again". So, until then, don't be silly, wrap ole willy.

Political Understanding

Nothing beats a political mess. Nobody to vote for, nobody running that knows math. Nothing like having grown men argue about how they can fix the world when they can't even zip their fly up. What is going on with this world?
I'm not much of a political dude myself. I know we gots a President that is out of his mind half the time, and on vacation the other half. But when it came time for the Iowa Caucuses I decided to ask some peeps if they wanted to go. So, I asked a pretty ole girl if she wanted to go, and her reply, NO, I DON'T WANT SEX TONIGHT. So, obviously, she knows Anthony Weiner.
I was going to ask another, but then it dawned on me. Caucuses, and sex, genius. Who would have thought other than ole Rednecks. That's my kind of logic, but no is not an answer. But the more you think about it. No matter who wins we are going to end up getting screwed somehow, someway. And them poor goofballs don't even kiss us first. What is up with that?
Well, if you don't vote, and stay home, to enjoy some sex, don't be silly and wrap ole willy.

Bermuda Triangle

Some of life's greatest adventures can be caused by the Bermuda triangle. We, as men, know this all too well. So, hold my beer and read and watch this.........

We know women, and as men, women bitch about us all the time. We are so simple minded, Jesus if we don't have food, give us sex. Easiest instruction manual you'll ever need. My God, even smart phones come without instruction books now days and you figure them out, so how can you not understand us?

It is so simple, once ya give us sex, we are hooked, like a catfish on a treble hook. We are locked in like like a Guy with no arms in his house. So, this little 3 letter word is the Bermuda triangle to us. You know, once ya go in, your not getting out. And if you do somehow find an exit, we loose our ass on the way out. So, just stop and think, or better yet, toss us a sandwich then give us sex, and we are straight in the zone of no return. And I have no idea why we guys will work so hard to get trapped, but come on guys, be tough, stand strong, this is the last opportunity you will ever have.

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