Catholic School

I had a show up in the boondocks of Nebraska, after playing in a hail storm and then making it to an awesome birthday show, off I rolled at midnight to another show, with a start of 2 a.m. And to much of my belief, what a disaster that show was. I thought I got stuck with a bunch of Jerry's kids that were at a slumber party.
I show up, all the kids, all 50 of them, were done with prom, and in street clothes, playing with inflatable toys, I mean, I walked right into a teenager Chuck cheese. I knew I was screwed worse than a sheep 50 miles from a town. So, I waited, until the start time, and hit the stage. Them kids, not only were they Catholic, but tired Catholics, obviously not enough wine. I told a couple jokes, like I'm sure you watch cable ytv and 16 and pregnant, I can't wait until the sequel 32 and grandma. That joke went over there head like Airforce One taking off in Iraq. Not one kid even grinned, so I had to break it down, 16 plus 16 equals 32. When your 16 and have a kid, then your kid is 16 and has one cause you did, then your 32 and a grandma. Then they laughed.
I have no idea what them Catholic kids learn now days, but back when I was in school, we had 3 high schools, and I know for a fact we wouldn't skip a Catholic kids party. Heck, we would  have skipped prom to hit one. Not up here, I don't think party or funny is allowed. So I pulled a couple more, and got nothing, these kids are just plain whipped, I didn't even bring up the "off like a prom dress", I didn't want to hear, I already have it off at home on a hanger." Shock me, what I thought was going to be a awesome show, was a complete practice, I've had better reactions in a mirror than what I got there that night.
But all in all, I had a hell of a time busting on a cop at the Birthday Party, and man oh man, when my speeding head spins something out about him, the blog is on. But don't be silly wrap ole willy. If your Catholic I will explain that later.

Nun yo business

I honestly dont have any idear where porn came up with the whole naughty catholic school girl. That kind of stuff, as often as we watch it,,,,okay, I watch it, don't seem to catch the whole hot nun? In all my travels, I haven't seen a hottie yet, dressed as a penguin, and carrying a bottle of wine. Or maybe I am just going to the wrong places. Heck, I don't think a nun would be in the bar, so maybe that explains it. But that brings on a whole meaning of why people wear black and white into the bar. Humm, good idea for fashion sense.
So one thing the porn industry has done wrong. Well, I'm sure they have done alot more than that, or maybe they just forgot their names. But they need to stop and think. A 42 year old woman in pig tails and a cheerleader outfit, does not make me think of Barely legal either. I just don't get it. Maybe we will never understand what they were trying to imply to us slow American men that like to watch things other than football. But, when men don't get it, and there are no instructions, then really, does that suprise you?
Well, until next time, don't be silly, oh ya, a tip for ya, whenever you are watching porn, don't put the case on the floor. Those cases on carpet is like a banana peel on glass. I just about broke a hip, and pulled my groin slipping on that thing, darn good thing I didn't drop my lotion, or there would have been more of a mess on the floor. Well, don't be silly, wrap ole willy.

Okay Kids

I have some smart ideas for and some things to think about for teens today. But first and foremost, lets just thank them for being them.
The future of America is in your hands, when you make it up to be someone that you have always strived to be. Stop and think. Make sure you have enough votes to win office, make sure you don't declare war and send young people of there to take care of it when your old butt is the one who wanted it. I mean, if we sent you over there at age 50, I am sure you could talk the war progress down.
If you are going to decide to start a war, especially over gas prices. Why would you send over thousands of troops and no vehicles? Come on, take the gas, thats what your fighting for anyways. Don't let us down.
Never believe an old lady with no wrinkles is naturally beautiful. I mean comeon, botox, internal jello, and silicone are all on the rise. That is why we have so many women think they are barbies, but they arent really. Barbie has no holes. HINT HINT
Always listen to your parents. Ya, you may think they are drunk and stupid when telling you things, but when you hit the ripe age of 21 or 22, you will know, we are information GODS.
So, when you think about going into the future, stop, think, with the upper head, its no much of a bad place, it just has eggheads leading it. So, don't be an egghead, and surely don't find yourself with a patch on your eye in a roadside ditch.

Tassels

Who in the hell came up with this tied up ball of yarn to hang on a hat at graduation to have the wind blow and slap you in the eye? They should of used something like a rose stems. You ever had one just slap your eye like you were a red-headed step child stuck at home with a step mom from hell? That crap hurts.
And to make it worse, you can't pick the colors of what the shredded doilie should be. This is something that I never did understand. But DAMN I was cool hanging that thing on my rear view mirror. I use to slam on my brakes in the car then pump them to have it swing and slap the crap out of my front window like it did my eye in the wind. Chicks dig the tassel mirror.
To much of my surprise, chicks don't dig it to much when it says 91 on it and it is this year. What the heck? That thing is like a gold medal for me, I had to give the teachers so much crap and threaten them to pass me so they didn't have to put up with me the next year. It worked, and now I have earned my tassles.
So now, I want to make a new trend in the tassel evolution, or whatever the word is, I want to see all the High Schools in the "HOOD" not have tassels, but tie them things up like dreadlocks. Then when I go to the mall, I know which car NOT to park by. Put some of them beads in em, do whatever tickles your fancy shredding doilie eye sores, but dreads would just be the coolest. I would probably try to get me a college degree if that happen. But until then, I still blame that stupid tassel for me having to wear glasses.

Diary of a wimpy kid

So, the boys and I just watched diary of a wimpy kid. That movie needs to get a new name, that's not a good name.  When I was I in school, everyone told on me for passing notes,  like when I passed a note to a girl that said close your legs, the flyswatter are coming in real bad. Or the note that said your feet smell like ass. Never did it occur to me that detention could be made fun. When I had to stay after school, many of my followers would try to go with me, now that's friends.

I was probably the only kid that didn't mind the principles office, heck the secretary was hot. I always walked out with a new pen too.

It wasn't until this movie I found out it wasn't an honor to have your desk next to the teachers. My God, mine was there from first grade on. I thought I was the teachers assistant I didn't know I was the center of attention for the teacher. But we had fun. The times of filling a locker with shaving cream, to kicking 2 lockers open and switching all the stuff around, what a shocking surprise to those kids. The day of running through the girls locker room, to running out to gym in my undies and then saying, damn, forgot to put on my gym shorts.

If I knew girls were so horny in college, I would of tried harder in high school.

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