Sometimes in life you just have to let things go. You can't just let them boil up until you go crazy. So,,,,,in my terms.
Life is just like a fart. You can't keep it in, cause it will cause you pain, and not feel good. So, if you just let it go, not only do you feel better, but depending on the release, it is alot cheaper than paying a shrink.. So, just remember, life is just like a fart, and there is always going to be a pain in the ass somewhere waiting to get you.
Another thing I have learned about life. You can loan friends or neighbors money, and that is end of seeing it. So,,,,,in my terms.
Money is just like weed. When you have it, everyone wants it. When you don't have it, nobody wants to share it with you. And when you finally do give in and share, it all goes up in smoke.
So if you take the good, and take the bad, you pretty much stop and think of how the little things in life are funny, or known to me in my world. There is nothing wrong with being a redneck, we always look at things from a different angle, and that angle is usually the one that makes since to everyone else.
Thursday, December 22, 2011
Thursday, December 15, 2011
Bermuda Triangle
Some of life's greatest adventures can be caused by the Bermuda triangle. We, as men, know this all too well. So, hold my beer and read and watch this.........
We know women, and as men, women bitch about us all the time. We are so simple minded, Jesus if we don't have food, give us sex. Easiest instruction manual you'll ever need. My God, even smart phones come without instruction books now days and you figure them out, so how can you not understand us?
It is so simple, once ya give us sex, we are hooked, like a catfish on a treble hook. We are locked in like like a Guy with no arms in his house. So, this little 3 letter word is the Bermuda triangle to us. You know, once ya go in, your not getting out. And if you do somehow find an exit, we loose our ass on the way out. So, just stop and think, or better yet, toss us a sandwich then give us sex, and we are straight in the zone of no return. And I have no idea why we guys will work so hard to get trapped, but come on guys, be tough, stand strong, this is the last opportunity you will ever have.
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Christmas Time
The greatest thing about this holiday season is the candycanes, and I get to see who in my family really cooks. I mean, back south, when I lived there, KFC was open, and a bucket of chicken was the replacement for the ham. Maybe chicken is easier to chew with no teeth?
But nothing is better than the days when pops went out and knocked the head off a chicken, brought it inside and grandma cooked it up. Like that darn rooster they use to have. That thing was so mean it use to chase me all around the yard, trying to peck my eye out. I use to have to carry a stick just to collect eggs, he would have made a great REPO Chicken, that big mean thing could get anything from anyone.
But one day, gramps said that he died and granny made chicken noodle soup, and I ate that little bastard until I couldn't eat no more. HA! I got the last laugh!
But anyways, back onto Christmas, if my family got together and one person didn't start the annual farting contest, or seeing what kind of noisy toy they could send the cousins home with, it would be pretty darn good. But, here we go, packing the bags like Juan Valdez and some coffee, taking off, headed south, all going to pile into Grannys 1 bedroom house for a whole afternoon, and sit around, eat, fart, watch some football, and then have the dogs do dishes.
Christmas just don't get any better in my world.
But nothing is better than the days when pops went out and knocked the head off a chicken, brought it inside and grandma cooked it up. Like that darn rooster they use to have. That thing was so mean it use to chase me all around the yard, trying to peck my eye out. I use to have to carry a stick just to collect eggs, he would have made a great REPO Chicken, that big mean thing could get anything from anyone.
But one day, gramps said that he died and granny made chicken noodle soup, and I ate that little bastard until I couldn't eat no more. HA! I got the last laugh!
But anyways, back onto Christmas, if my family got together and one person didn't start the annual farting contest, or seeing what kind of noisy toy they could send the cousins home with, it would be pretty darn good. But, here we go, packing the bags like Juan Valdez and some coffee, taking off, headed south, all going to pile into Grannys 1 bedroom house for a whole afternoon, and sit around, eat, fart, watch some football, and then have the dogs do dishes.
Christmas just don't get any better in my world.
Monday, December 12, 2011
Gangsta
Dude, if your mama drops you off and picks you up from school, you are not a gangster. I don't mean to rain on your parade, but never in my lifetime have my pockets extended past my butt.
And the only time you ever seen a guys boxers, was when the class bully pulled them up past the back of his head.
And mama and pops, your at fault for letting these kids dress with their pants down on the ground, and undies way up their backs. My kids don't do that. Shoe some class, not ass.
And the hot chicks like dudes in them tight butted jeans with the wrangler patch on em, last time I checked wrangler didn't make a patch that could be drug on the ground all day.
So step up, pull up, and spare us the laugh at your underoos. Its class buddy, order some!!!!
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Saturday, December 10, 2011
Materialistic
I have noticed in my redneck growing up that some women just can't figure out what cards where handed to them and don't know how to play them. Them are the kind of Texas Hold'em players you want to make some money off. For instance.
In todays world you can buy alot of things, lips, boobs, butts, tummy tucks, more hair, eyebrows, and the non-shave upper lips. Now com'on man, we all know when you got some plastic in ya. Its them summer days when you go outside and that plastic gets warm and droopy that is the tale tale sign. Just be your yourself, or can't ya deal with the cards that were dealt to you? This is the kind of girl that use to cheat at UNO so she would win cause she thinks she's all that and a pack of oreos.
And then to take all this plastic extras you paid a Dr. for and open your own shop so everyone can come in and you get your STARDOM FACTOR to cheer you up, and you still have that crappy attitude of I'm better than you because I'm about $12,000 in debt with my ass. I just don't understand.
Back in woods country of America, there are chicks without teeth, wirey hair, one arm, no boobs, hairlips, and whatever else that are happy and genuine. So what ever makes you to go Social on the ole Facebook, and make yourself something your not, is like slapping your own face in the public.
If ya can't face the reality of life, and deal with what you got, all I ask is don't drink out of a bottle with them fish lips, you look like a carp sucking for bugs, and them skinny jeans, they are okay, guys like me like butts, but holy smokes, remove the tag off that cheek you bought.
In todays world you can buy alot of things, lips, boobs, butts, tummy tucks, more hair, eyebrows, and the non-shave upper lips. Now com'on man, we all know when you got some plastic in ya. Its them summer days when you go outside and that plastic gets warm and droopy that is the tale tale sign. Just be your yourself, or can't ya deal with the cards that were dealt to you? This is the kind of girl that use to cheat at UNO so she would win cause she thinks she's all that and a pack of oreos.
And then to take all this plastic extras you paid a Dr. for and open your own shop so everyone can come in and you get your STARDOM FACTOR to cheer you up, and you still have that crappy attitude of I'm better than you because I'm about $12,000 in debt with my ass. I just don't understand.
Back in woods country of America, there are chicks without teeth, wirey hair, one arm, no boobs, hairlips, and whatever else that are happy and genuine. So what ever makes you to go Social on the ole Facebook, and make yourself something your not, is like slapping your own face in the public.
If ya can't face the reality of life, and deal with what you got, all I ask is don't drink out of a bottle with them fish lips, you look like a carp sucking for bugs, and them skinny jeans, they are okay, guys like me like butts, but holy smokes, remove the tag off that cheek you bought.
Friday, December 9, 2011
Sam and Louie's
To much of my learnings, I have found that when 2 cowboys are out in the fields over 30 days that the sheep become nervous. But to stop, and take a new idea and run is going to make you end at a Sam and Louies. Not only can you get yourself an ice cold beer but an awesome taste of Italy where the booths are big and the service is with a smile. So I went in, and yep, beer was cold, and the menu was Italian. WOWZA!! I don't know no Sam from Italy, but that dude must be the brewmaster and knows how to set the temp on the keg cooler.
Now for Louie, many are often confusing him for being a dude from the south,,,,,with a tan..... NOT in this case, he is more like Luigi in that smash the bricks game on the Nintendo. But I know that dude can make a calzone that would talk dirty to you on a sober day. It had more taste than a old folks home has ever been introduced to.
So you take the two, shake them up and then all of a sudden you have a kick butt place to grab some grub, or a calzone, and sip on an ice cold beer. Talk about having your piece of a pizza served to you on a silver platter and lifted up off the table beer high, that took some talent. From the days of sitting on the tailgate, sipping some warm beer, and slidding a box back and forth, they are now history and just memories.
Thanks Sam and Louie, who the hell ever you are and where you reside, but dudes', the beer is chill and pizza is as hot as a $2 hooker on the Vegas Strip. Stop in and take my challenge!!!
Now for Louie, many are often confusing him for being a dude from the south,,,,,with a tan..... NOT in this case, he is more like Luigi in that smash the bricks game on the Nintendo. But I know that dude can make a calzone that would talk dirty to you on a sober day. It had more taste than a old folks home has ever been introduced to.
So you take the two, shake them up and then all of a sudden you have a kick butt place to grab some grub, or a calzone, and sip on an ice cold beer. Talk about having your piece of a pizza served to you on a silver platter and lifted up off the table beer high, that took some talent. From the days of sitting on the tailgate, sipping some warm beer, and slidding a box back and forth, they are now history and just memories.
Thanks Sam and Louie, who the hell ever you are and where you reside, but dudes', the beer is chill and pizza is as hot as a $2 hooker on the Vegas Strip. Stop in and take my challenge!!!
Monday, November 28, 2011
SUH
Mr. Suh,
I am just so sorry that you thought you were pushed and had to step on another players arm. I must of missed that buffalo, the only animal that could move you, in the TV screen. I actually didn't even see anyone around that had the balls to push you. And I am sorry they were talking about bad things you didn't like on the O line, but eating grass is one thing, you really didn't have to keep trying to get the camel to drink more water.
I know you understand that millions of kids are watching you and today was the international step on your friend and say you were pushed day. We named it after you, why because you are the real deal.
But to come from a school that the world watches and being a great player from that Husker Nation, you really didn't earn any KUDOS stating that you were pushed. So, I thought maybe I could help you out tomorrow with some ideas on what to tell the public and the commissioner.
I am really sorry I was bashing his head in the ground, but I forgot my terrets medication before the game.
I really didn't mean to step on his arm, I wanted his damn chin so he would stop talking smack.
I am a man that respects my mother and anyone going to talk smack about my mom will go down. That is my button, don't push it.
I would like to express to the Packers that I am sorry I singled out player than the whole team in which I know I could take out.
I am the greatest Defensive lineman that the NFL has right now, that punk saying I wasn't going to the pro bowl again pissed me off.
I am sorry fans, I had a bad case of the craps from stopping at taco bell before the game, and really needed to take a day off.
But all in all SUH, just a damn SORRY after the game, instead of saying you were hit and pushed by a damn alien would have sealed the deal for us people. And please stop playing dirty, we in Nebraska get dirty, but from preg checking cattle man.
Stay tough, stay strong and build your respect back up.
Sincerely,
Husker "SUH" Fan
I am just so sorry that you thought you were pushed and had to step on another players arm. I must of missed that buffalo, the only animal that could move you, in the TV screen. I actually didn't even see anyone around that had the balls to push you. And I am sorry they were talking about bad things you didn't like on the O line, but eating grass is one thing, you really didn't have to keep trying to get the camel to drink more water.
I know you understand that millions of kids are watching you and today was the international step on your friend and say you were pushed day. We named it after you, why because you are the real deal.
But to come from a school that the world watches and being a great player from that Husker Nation, you really didn't earn any KUDOS stating that you were pushed. So, I thought maybe I could help you out tomorrow with some ideas on what to tell the public and the commissioner.
I am really sorry I was bashing his head in the ground, but I forgot my terrets medication before the game.
I really didn't mean to step on his arm, I wanted his damn chin so he would stop talking smack.
I am a man that respects my mother and anyone going to talk smack about my mom will go down. That is my button, don't push it.
I would like to express to the Packers that I am sorry I singled out player than the whole team in which I know I could take out.
I am the greatest Defensive lineman that the NFL has right now, that punk saying I wasn't going to the pro bowl again pissed me off.
I am sorry fans, I had a bad case of the craps from stopping at taco bell before the game, and really needed to take a day off.
But all in all SUH, just a damn SORRY after the game, instead of saying you were hit and pushed by a damn alien would have sealed the deal for us people. And please stop playing dirty, we in Nebraska get dirty, but from preg checking cattle man.
Stay tough, stay strong and build your respect back up.
Sincerely,
Husker "SUH" Fan
NBA
The most depressing news in the world is the that the stupid NBA will resume on Christmas. I hope that don't piss Santa off so bad he skips out. What the hell, like I've been good?
To have 8 channels of hockey right now, a REAL contact sport and 10 of football is awesome. Who really gives a crap about some tall lanky crybabies who buy their wives pick diamonds when they screw up and then whine they don't make enough money? What happen to the days when the same ball fondlers would play and get an education at the same time, get a new car and hide it from the NCAA? That's a bunch of crap we are going to spoil some real sports. The same thing with baseball, them swingers were all pissed off they werent going to make enough money.
Well, first off, play better so you can get traded to the Yankees and make money, second off, step up, be real men and get a damn second job. I work, I don't play no sport and you don't find me on TV bitching cause I only made $5 million dollars last year for sitting on a bench cause I suck and can't play well with others.
If your going to swing a stick and dribble balls, reach down and find your balls, and MAN THE HELL UP!!! I am still voting for NO CRYBABIES ON TV!!!!
To have 8 channels of hockey right now, a REAL contact sport and 10 of football is awesome. Who really gives a crap about some tall lanky crybabies who buy their wives pick diamonds when they screw up and then whine they don't make enough money? What happen to the days when the same ball fondlers would play and get an education at the same time, get a new car and hide it from the NCAA? That's a bunch of crap we are going to spoil some real sports. The same thing with baseball, them swingers were all pissed off they werent going to make enough money.
Well, first off, play better so you can get traded to the Yankees and make money, second off, step up, be real men and get a damn second job. I work, I don't play no sport and you don't find me on TV bitching cause I only made $5 million dollars last year for sitting on a bench cause I suck and can't play well with others.
If your going to swing a stick and dribble balls, reach down and find your balls, and MAN THE HELL UP!!! I am still voting for NO CRYBABIES ON TV!!!!
Farts
So the question is, is a fart actually considered an ass burp? Who ever came up with the word fart? It just sounds dirty with 4 letter and starts with a F. But on the other hand, who wants someone to ask, Did you just burp out your ass? burps and farts can both stink, if you push to hard you can get some liquid behind each of them.
But, the actually idea came to mind from being so cold outside, that you could see your breath, and being a man, I wanted to know if I let a good burp would it steam. And yes it did. So, I pushed harder and ripped an ass burp, that also had the same effect of the oral burp.
But, on the other hand, to make the chair fart out of a burp would look like a pervert who is sniffing the chair behind a blonde beauty with a g-string that just got out of the chair. And what if the person that was there before sharted on the chair and then you wanted to make a chair burp. That is way to much energy expelled for a guy like me, I don't care who thinks I'm sniffing some hot chicks ass or not. It is easy to get down, but man, that picking myself up is getting harder and harder.
So, when in the presents of someone that already thinks your as crazy a tongue chewer in a candy store, test it out and let me know what kind of ass mouth sounds you can make that sound alike. And I really don't care about the smell, its all the music to my ears that matters.
But, the actually idea came to mind from being so cold outside, that you could see your breath, and being a man, I wanted to know if I let a good burp would it steam. And yes it did. So, I pushed harder and ripped an ass burp, that also had the same effect of the oral burp.
But, on the other hand, to make the chair fart out of a burp would look like a pervert who is sniffing the chair behind a blonde beauty with a g-string that just got out of the chair. And what if the person that was there before sharted on the chair and then you wanted to make a chair burp. That is way to much energy expelled for a guy like me, I don't care who thinks I'm sniffing some hot chicks ass or not. It is easy to get down, but man, that picking myself up is getting harder and harder.
So, when in the presents of someone that already thinks your as crazy a tongue chewer in a candy store, test it out and let me know what kind of ass mouth sounds you can make that sound alike. And I really don't care about the smell, its all the music to my ears that matters.
Saturday, November 26, 2011
black friday
What a crock of refried beans and spaghetti corporate America was to have such a holiday. The time of the year they prove how greedy they are 11 months out of the year by showing us how low they can sell the crap we buy. So, really? A TV at $188 when the next day its $299.
But we are the ones being like a kid in a candy store, camping out, waiting, having the shakes to read the ads and "priming" ourselves to act like cattle getting loaded into a trailer. But, we blow the money we don't have from the jobs the government made cut us, to show them we like deals.
Heck, its the one time of year you can finally act like a thug and take things out of other peoples cart, hip check people out of the way, and the occasional elbow to the ribs to get this corporate candy before someone does the same. I love it!!!! Finally a day I can treat everyone in my way like an ex!!! Life is great!!!
So until the greatest bash your ass holiday of the year, we wait, dreaming of more cool stuff to buy at a great price, and talking about how we whipped ass and got you cheap Christmas presents. If we were smart, we would celebrate Christmas after Christmas when you can buy more Christmas stuff for less money. Loving Black Fridays!!!!!
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Tuesday, November 22, 2011
Skype
So, I got this deally bob app picture click a roosky on my phone named skype. So, I figured, what the hell is this. So, being a curious redneck with no technology at my fingertips to know what something is, I tapped it. I set it all up, and then I went into this fantasy world better than Mr. Rogers ever had to offer with them finger puppets.
I am sitting there, just skyping away and talking, and talking. For some reason the person on the other end was just laughing, and laughing, and then more people came into the room. I am thinking, WOW, what a way to make impression as being an impressionist on SKYPE. Sweetness. After there was about 20 people in the room laughing and pointing. It dawned on me.
Some idiot who invented these phone apps needed to think before he does such a thing. That goober put the damn video camera on the opposite side of the screen, so in order for me to watch the people, the camera was facing the other direction. What the hell is the purpose of that? My damn laptop has the camera right on the screen, where its suspose to be. NOT on the back side showing everyone that I had just got out of the shower and haven't gotten dressed. App erased, well played SKYPE GEEKS!!! Another reason, redneck and smartphone is not a mix.
I am sitting there, just skyping away and talking, and talking. For some reason the person on the other end was just laughing, and laughing, and then more people came into the room. I am thinking, WOW, what a way to make impression as being an impressionist on SKYPE. Sweetness. After there was about 20 people in the room laughing and pointing. It dawned on me.
Some idiot who invented these phone apps needed to think before he does such a thing. That goober put the damn video camera on the opposite side of the screen, so in order for me to watch the people, the camera was facing the other direction. What the hell is the purpose of that? My damn laptop has the camera right on the screen, where its suspose to be. NOT on the back side showing everyone that I had just got out of the shower and haven't gotten dressed. App erased, well played SKYPE GEEKS!!! Another reason, redneck and smartphone is not a mix.
Wednesday, November 16, 2011
Why
Out of 10 fingers to hit why does it always have to be a pinky finger? That is the question of the day, why would the smallest finger be on the outside just waiting to get smashed? Its like a midgit standing out in the middle of the highway saying HIT ME, and then kapow, you got them faster than a bulls butt puckering being the next one in line for the castration.
If it was me, I would have reversed the damn order, or just took all the pain receptors out and dispersed them to other fingers so when it did get hit it didn't hurt so bad. But that's me.
And why the hell is every dog such a badass until the vacuum comes out of the closet? My god dog, stop trying to be so bad and get a grip dude, if you didn't get hair everywhere, we wouldn't need to get it out to chase you so often. Nothing beats getting out the hose and sucking the dog, just to watch him freak. It is a better laugh than putting scotch tape on the paws of a cat.
But, gotta go now, the dog is barking and the vac is coming out to show him who the boss is!!!
If it was me, I would have reversed the damn order, or just took all the pain receptors out and dispersed them to other fingers so when it did get hit it didn't hurt so bad. But that's me.
And why the hell is every dog such a badass until the vacuum comes out of the closet? My god dog, stop trying to be so bad and get a grip dude, if you didn't get hair everywhere, we wouldn't need to get it out to chase you so often. Nothing beats getting out the hose and sucking the dog, just to watch him freak. It is a better laugh than putting scotch tape on the paws of a cat.
But, gotta go now, the dog is barking and the vac is coming out to show him who the boss is!!!
Tuesday, November 15, 2011
Yoga
What is the deal with all this Yoga Hype? I decided to check it out myself. I went down and holy moley, talk about them sex books that teach ya moves, carma sumthin, kapow, this is live!!! I sat in the back, and I don't really think I bended right, but man what a sight. I know my neck sure got a good workout.
They had everyone stand up, bend over and touch their toes, and I added SPELL RUN outloud, I don't know what that lady upfront's problem was, but she told me shut up. Holy smokes, this is great I was thinking. Then we had to stand up, and bend backwards, I couldn't do it. So, I had to stand there just look at boobies, have I ever said how much I love boobies? Then, that lady upfront got on me again, sir, you need to bend backwards arch your back, I said, I can't, first off there is a room full of boobies I'm watching and second off, if I bend back now someone is going to get poked in the eye.
That witch came back, rolled up my mat, and sent me out the door. WTF, I know poked in the eye didn't scare them, must of been cause I'm straight. Couldn't see a gay guy getting kicked out of yoga class. That was BS, so now I'm going to Zumba classes to check it out, piss on them.
They had everyone stand up, bend over and touch their toes, and I added SPELL RUN outloud, I don't know what that lady upfront's problem was, but she told me shut up. Holy smokes, this is great I was thinking. Then we had to stand up, and bend backwards, I couldn't do it. So, I had to stand there just look at boobies, have I ever said how much I love boobies? Then, that lady upfront got on me again, sir, you need to bend backwards arch your back, I said, I can't, first off there is a room full of boobies I'm watching and second off, if I bend back now someone is going to get poked in the eye.
That witch came back, rolled up my mat, and sent me out the door. WTF, I know poked in the eye didn't scare them, must of been cause I'm straight. Couldn't see a gay guy getting kicked out of yoga class. That was BS, so now I'm going to Zumba classes to check it out, piss on them.
Helping Hand
I have a HUGE heart for the handicap. This one time, a girl in a wheelchair asked me out on a date, so I said sure. I went and picked her up, and put her wheelchair in my truck and off to the movie we went.
During the movie, she put her hand on my leg, and I couldn't return the favor, cuz she didn't have any. So, I just put mine on her shoulder. She started moving up, and up. Then OMG, came to mind a couple times. So after the movie we went out and she took me down this old dirt road to a dead end. She said, I want you, I thought, OH GOD, I can't do this. So, outloud came a okay. I said HOW? So she directed to me take off my belt and loop it around a branch and come back and get her. I can't do this, I just can't.
So, I went back and carried her out to the belt, and yep, it all happen, she was hanging and so was I. We got done, and then it dawned on me why she had such big arms.
So, I loaded her up and took her back home. Her father greeted up at the end of the walk, which sucked. I had to tell him, so I said, Mr. White, I did your daughter, but she made me. He replied, "that's okay, I'm glad you brought her home, that last dipshit left her out hanging in the tree and I had to go get her."
During the movie, she put her hand on my leg, and I couldn't return the favor, cuz she didn't have any. So, I just put mine on her shoulder. She started moving up, and up. Then OMG, came to mind a couple times. So after the movie we went out and she took me down this old dirt road to a dead end. She said, I want you, I thought, OH GOD, I can't do this. So, outloud came a okay. I said HOW? So she directed to me take off my belt and loop it around a branch and come back and get her. I can't do this, I just can't.
So, I went back and carried her out to the belt, and yep, it all happen, she was hanging and so was I. We got done, and then it dawned on me why she had such big arms.
So, I loaded her up and took her back home. Her father greeted up at the end of the walk, which sucked. I had to tell him, so I said, Mr. White, I did your daughter, but she made me. He replied, "that's okay, I'm glad you brought her home, that last dipshit left her out hanging in the tree and I had to go get her."
Best Things
Its the little things in life that just make me laugh my ass off like a drunk Santa. Okay, my belly jiggles. So I was just Facebook Whoring away and all of a sudden my damn computer starting ringing. Like a damn phone, I thought Facebook updated something retarded like they did the last time. And it rang, and rang, cuz I'm slow like that.
So I noticed this pop up balloon deally bob, that said answer, so WTF, I did, my brother started talking. Talk about freaked out, I thougt the damn Russians were coming for my commie hating ass. So, I talked back, and he heard me. TOTALLY AWESOME!!!
Then he asked where my video is, so, I was digging up a porn to email, and then he explained himself better, cuz he is my family member and knows better. Plus, Candycane was right there. After googling that shit, I found a download for it. TOTALLY COOL. I have free Skype, or maybe Skype is free, I don't know.
Then Candycane, my sister in law, educated me on how to get it on my phone. This technology shit is cooler than an igloo in March with 2 nano nano's pissing outside. (Don't ask). So after about 10 minutes, I am one cool ass redneck with google talk and video at my hands. OH THIS COULD BE BAD. Looks like I need to start opening some porn gmail accounts!!!!
But I am so proud of myself I gave myself a bowl of ice cream, then took the the cocoa puffs and dumped them out and replaced them with some Iams tiny bites. The kids wont ever know, and I bet they don't ask for cocoa puffs anymore either. Never a dull momeny living with a redneck, never dull.
So I noticed this pop up balloon deally bob, that said answer, so WTF, I did, my brother started talking. Talk about freaked out, I thougt the damn Russians were coming for my commie hating ass. So, I talked back, and he heard me. TOTALLY AWESOME!!!
Then he asked where my video is, so, I was digging up a porn to email, and then he explained himself better, cuz he is my family member and knows better. Plus, Candycane was right there. After googling that shit, I found a download for it. TOTALLY COOL. I have free Skype, or maybe Skype is free, I don't know.
Then Candycane, my sister in law, educated me on how to get it on my phone. This technology shit is cooler than an igloo in March with 2 nano nano's pissing outside. (Don't ask). So after about 10 minutes, I am one cool ass redneck with google talk and video at my hands. OH THIS COULD BE BAD. Looks like I need to start opening some porn gmail accounts!!!!
But I am so proud of myself I gave myself a bowl of ice cream, then took the the cocoa puffs and dumped them out and replaced them with some Iams tiny bites. The kids wont ever know, and I bet they don't ask for cocoa puffs anymore either. Never a dull momeny living with a redneck, never dull.
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