There is nothing worse than a misleading car. Like, yesterday, there was an old caddy with rims and lowprofile rubbers on them, tented windows, and I told my boys hey look at that car, bet you it is one of my hispanic friends. NOPE, it was a white chick, go figure. No car seat so she wasn't even with a hispanic.
Then at the mall, I had this white kid, talking and dressing like he was black. So, I said, hey, nice hat can I see that thing? The gangster hat with the flat bill worn sideways. He handed it to me,and rolly rolly rolly, but a farmbill shade on that sucker. Take that wanna be. Sorry DOG!!!!
But I do know one thing for sure, if people would stop trying to be something they aren't there would be no Hollywood, or Drama. So keep it up home slices, I'm real, I'm me, and I graduated high school. But some words of advise I have, don't be a shingle, you'll get nailed by a mexican, and once you go black, you go single mother. There is nothing misleading about them facts. A true redneck knows best.
Sunday, November 13, 2011
Saturday, November 12, 2011
Thanksgiving Prayer
Dear Old Man Upstairs,
I pray for this turkey that he had a good ride to the meat plant, and he didn't loose many feathers. I pray that the guy that handled him didn't pick his nose before playing with this bird. I also want to thank you for making their butts big enough for my hand to fit in, or I don't know how we would remove them gimlets.
I pray that some dog we don't know didn't take a pee on this cranberry bush which our cranberries were picked off of. And that some little Chinese kid didn't work past the child labor laws to harvest them for us.
I want to thank you for running water, if it wasn't for running water all these guest would smell like a spoiled bird. Thank you for giving man the idea of the fork and the Indians the idea of a knife, that's about it sir, this shit smells to good to keep going on.
Amen.
I pray for this turkey that he had a good ride to the meat plant, and he didn't loose many feathers. I pray that the guy that handled him didn't pick his nose before playing with this bird. I also want to thank you for making their butts big enough for my hand to fit in, or I don't know how we would remove them gimlets.
I pray that some dog we don't know didn't take a pee on this cranberry bush which our cranberries were picked off of. And that some little Chinese kid didn't work past the child labor laws to harvest them for us.
I want to thank you for running water, if it wasn't for running water all these guest would smell like a spoiled bird. Thank you for giving man the idea of the fork and the Indians the idea of a knife, that's about it sir, this shit smells to good to keep going on.
Amen.
The Greatest Move
One night, while listening to my THONG SONG, I got to dancing, flipping on and off the lights, and doing some fancy WWE moves. I had this thought of pretending to be superman, and it did not end well at all.
From hitting the lights, being spot blinded, stubbing my toe on the bedside table, causing me to jump up and down, and then hitting myself in the head with the ceiling fan, which inturn caused me to go off kelter and jump sideways right onto the bedpost groin first.
Talk about laid out. I learned that night that just common items in the room can cause more havic on ones body than a damn mower with an ex wife behind the wheel. So, my idea of fixing this situation, was throw out the thong after I got all my butthair unwound off it. I replaced my light with the clapper, took my kids swimming noodle and cut slits in the thing to wrap my fan blades and then duct taped nerf footballs on the bedpost. I am a genuine fix it man.
As for the end table, I no longer have it, I have a dresser so that gives me more room to play around. I'm all healed up now thanks to frozen peas, popsicle sticks, and scotch tape. I am as good as new, and thankfully that night, I didn't even hurt my camcorder.
From hitting the lights, being spot blinded, stubbing my toe on the bedside table, causing me to jump up and down, and then hitting myself in the head with the ceiling fan, which inturn caused me to go off kelter and jump sideways right onto the bedpost groin first.
Talk about laid out. I learned that night that just common items in the room can cause more havic on ones body than a damn mower with an ex wife behind the wheel. So, my idea of fixing this situation, was throw out the thong after I got all my butthair unwound off it. I replaced my light with the clapper, took my kids swimming noodle and cut slits in the thing to wrap my fan blades and then duct taped nerf footballs on the bedpost. I am a genuine fix it man.
As for the end table, I no longer have it, I have a dresser so that gives me more room to play around. I'm all healed up now thanks to frozen peas, popsicle sticks, and scotch tape. I am as good as new, and thankfully that night, I didn't even hurt my camcorder.
Crazy Things
I've performed some crazy stunts in my time, outside of getting married twice, I have done some cool stuff. Like the time I was sleeping on a helicopter and doors open, I couldn't hear, and just heard someone yelling, and decided to JUMP out of the bird. A 50 foot fall and a hell of a tumble at the end, not even a scratch or bruise, but then I had to walk about 3 miles to where we were suspose to land.
Jumping off a bridge just because I seen it on TV. That is a rush, jumping from airplanes, that's more of a rush than wearing a ghost costume and knocking on the White House door. Cliff climbing, rock jumping, sex with the last chick at the bar, rolling a car and semi.
But nothing is better than time I jumped off the roof onto the round bouncy deal in our backyard. NO FEAR, jumped right off, went all the way down and hit my ass on the ground and was ejected into the air about 10 feet from that tramp and hit the ground again. That was a double ride in one jump. That is like getting a 2 for 1 down on the hooker corner. But talk about pain in the butt.
Its not what you do in life, its what you have done that didn't kill you is what matters. Live on, jump on, and stuff your butt with charmin and remember don't squeeze the charmin.
Jumping off a bridge just because I seen it on TV. That is a rush, jumping from airplanes, that's more of a rush than wearing a ghost costume and knocking on the White House door. Cliff climbing, rock jumping, sex with the last chick at the bar, rolling a car and semi.
But nothing is better than time I jumped off the roof onto the round bouncy deal in our backyard. NO FEAR, jumped right off, went all the way down and hit my ass on the ground and was ejected into the air about 10 feet from that tramp and hit the ground again. That was a double ride in one jump. That is like getting a 2 for 1 down on the hooker corner. But talk about pain in the butt.
Its not what you do in life, its what you have done that didn't kill you is what matters. Live on, jump on, and stuff your butt with charmin and remember don't squeeze the charmin.
Supernatural
When supernatural comes to mind, I think of the times back in my younger days, when I could jump off about anything and get back up. That better than seeing a UFO with a light beam over your ex-wifes house. The days when I could jump out of a helicopter 50 feet, and not even flinch.
But now, I even think of doing something like I use to, and my joints start popping, cracking, and my body hurts. One of these days, I am hoping to ride back in the saddle again and do the things that have not killed me yet. That does not mean, taking the last chick home from the bar. I'm talking flying suplex from the top of the dresser, or an elbow drop from hanging off the ceiling fan.
But until the days I am a spidermonkey again, snap crackle and pop aren't just a cereal, it's the sounds of me getting out of bed. Maybe I should just take my ideas of fun and lock them up tighter than a bulls ass getting ready to enter the slaughter house. That's tight right there!!!!! But, I may not be supernatural, but I AM naturally super!!!
But now, I even think of doing something like I use to, and my joints start popping, cracking, and my body hurts. One of these days, I am hoping to ride back in the saddle again and do the things that have not killed me yet. That does not mean, taking the last chick home from the bar. I'm talking flying suplex from the top of the dresser, or an elbow drop from hanging off the ceiling fan.
But until the days I am a spidermonkey again, snap crackle and pop aren't just a cereal, it's the sounds of me getting out of bed. Maybe I should just take my ideas of fun and lock them up tighter than a bulls ass getting ready to enter the slaughter house. That's tight right there!!!!! But, I may not be supernatural, but I AM naturally super!!!
Sunday, November 6, 2011
Money Maker
I've done alot of cool things in my time, ie porn, cliff diving. But one of my bestest ideas was to come up with yard darts. I got so tired of them kids throwing rocks at cars in my front yard, I had to plant up an apple tree so they had something different to toss. That worked well, until I found out how to make apple pie. That stuff is good, and just make sure you get all the worms out of the apples first, for some reason my city slicker kids don't like worms.
The greatest hit in my trailer park is when I stopped and got some corn in a field, and then told my neighbor kid that my toiet was broken and gave him some pliers to get the seats off his toilets and bring them over. So, he did, being a smart kid and believing me. I took some of that corn, and pulled the husks back to make a yard dart, and took the toilet seats out and taught them how to throw some yard darts. I boiled up the rest of the corn, so I could I have big shindig down at trailer 68 at the park.
That was a great night until old PattyMae decided that the fieldcorn gave her the trots and took off for her toilet and we all heard a GREAT BIG,,,,BILLYBOB DAMN IT< BRING ME BACK MY SEAT AND FAST!!!! We just laughed, and I told ole BillyBob lets see how hard that corn hit, keep playing son. So we played. Wasn't long, ole PattyMae came out and was as mad as a elephant in a cage by himself on Viagra. WHEW, that red hair started flashing. I tried to ease the moment by asking to see if the toilet left a ring on ass, that obviously was not the thing to say.
So what I learned that day, what is fun for the kids, turns funny for the parents, but to my surprise ends me in 2 black eyes and swollen shins. I also learned, don't etch your name in your tools if some kids going to leave them behind. That's like breaking in a car leaving a business card. Damn it, I never think of the little things.
The greatest hit in my trailer park is when I stopped and got some corn in a field, and then told my neighbor kid that my toiet was broken and gave him some pliers to get the seats off his toilets and bring them over. So, he did, being a smart kid and believing me. I took some of that corn, and pulled the husks back to make a yard dart, and took the toilet seats out and taught them how to throw some yard darts. I boiled up the rest of the corn, so I could I have big shindig down at trailer 68 at the park.
That was a great night until old PattyMae decided that the fieldcorn gave her the trots and took off for her toilet and we all heard a GREAT BIG,,,,BILLYBOB DAMN IT< BRING ME BACK MY SEAT AND FAST!!!! We just laughed, and I told ole BillyBob lets see how hard that corn hit, keep playing son. So we played. Wasn't long, ole PattyMae came out and was as mad as a elephant in a cage by himself on Viagra. WHEW, that red hair started flashing. I tried to ease the moment by asking to see if the toilet left a ring on ass, that obviously was not the thing to say.
So what I learned that day, what is fun for the kids, turns funny for the parents, but to my surprise ends me in 2 black eyes and swollen shins. I also learned, don't etch your name in your tools if some kids going to leave them behind. That's like breaking in a car leaving a business card. Damn it, I never think of the little things.
Redneck Cooking
Nothing is better than a free meal, even one with family that stinks. Uncle Leroy leaves his teeth on a side plate, so can't sit by him, and Grammy don't know what is sliding in her depends, so can't sit there either. So I fix my plate, and roll on out to the garage and sit on the back of the pick-up.
This year they wanted me to help cook, so, I stuffed the turkey with popcorn, and when the popcorn blew the ass of the turkey, we knew it was done. I didn't have any stuffing, so I just toasted some bread, cut er up, and poured some turkey gravey on it, made it all better. Round my house we fight for the crispy skin, I ususally win. The trick to a good win is a can of refried beans and topped with a bowl of chili the night before. Still don't beat Uncle Leroys dentures on the damn table trying to eat.
All in all, we have a great meal, cold beer, long naps, and good times. We have alot of other stuff, I don't really know what it is, but it taste okay. It reminds me of Arkansas Roadkill Cafe, it was good, really good, don't know what it was, but man once you got under the hair it was tasty.
So, if you need any help with cooking up a turkey this year just give me a hollar, and surely we can cook er up. And cranberry sauce topped with poprocks is an absolute family stunner.
This year they wanted me to help cook, so, I stuffed the turkey with popcorn, and when the popcorn blew the ass of the turkey, we knew it was done. I didn't have any stuffing, so I just toasted some bread, cut er up, and poured some turkey gravey on it, made it all better. Round my house we fight for the crispy skin, I ususally win. The trick to a good win is a can of refried beans and topped with a bowl of chili the night before. Still don't beat Uncle Leroys dentures on the damn table trying to eat.
All in all, we have a great meal, cold beer, long naps, and good times. We have alot of other stuff, I don't really know what it is, but it taste okay. It reminds me of Arkansas Roadkill Cafe, it was good, really good, don't know what it was, but man once you got under the hair it was tasty.
So, if you need any help with cooking up a turkey this year just give me a hollar, and surely we can cook er up. And cranberry sauce topped with poprocks is an absolute family stunner.
Thursday, November 3, 2011
Tassels
Who in the hell came up with this tied up ball of yarn to hang on a hat at graduation to have the wind blow and slap you in the eye? They should of used something like a rose stems. You ever had one just slap your eye like you were a red-headed step child stuck at home with a step mom from hell? That crap hurts.
And to make it worse, you can't pick the colors of what the shredded doilie should be. This is something that I never did understand. But DAMN I was cool hanging that thing on my rear view mirror. I use to slam on my brakes in the car then pump them to have it swing and slap the crap out of my front window like it did my eye in the wind. Chicks dig the tassel mirror.
To much of my surprise, chicks don't dig it to much when it says 91 on it and it is this year. What the heck? That thing is like a gold medal for me, I had to give the teachers so much crap and threaten them to pass me so they didn't have to put up with me the next year. It worked, and now I have earned my tassles.
So now, I want to make a new trend in the tassel evolution, or whatever the word is, I want to see all the High Schools in the "HOOD" not have tassels, but tie them things up like dreadlocks. Then when I go to the mall, I know which car NOT to park by. Put some of them beads in em, do whatever tickles your fancy shredding doilie eye sores, but dreads would just be the coolest. I would probably try to get me a college degree if that happen. But until then, I still blame that stupid tassel for me having to wear glasses.
And to make it worse, you can't pick the colors of what the shredded doilie should be. This is something that I never did understand. But DAMN I was cool hanging that thing on my rear view mirror. I use to slam on my brakes in the car then pump them to have it swing and slap the crap out of my front window like it did my eye in the wind. Chicks dig the tassel mirror.
To much of my surprise, chicks don't dig it to much when it says 91 on it and it is this year. What the heck? That thing is like a gold medal for me, I had to give the teachers so much crap and threaten them to pass me so they didn't have to put up with me the next year. It worked, and now I have earned my tassles.
So now, I want to make a new trend in the tassel evolution, or whatever the word is, I want to see all the High Schools in the "HOOD" not have tassels, but tie them things up like dreadlocks. Then when I go to the mall, I know which car NOT to park by. Put some of them beads in em, do whatever tickles your fancy shredding doilie eye sores, but dreads would just be the coolest. I would probably try to get me a college degree if that happen. But until then, I still blame that stupid tassel for me having to wear glasses.
Tuesday, November 1, 2011
Halloween
God bless these kids dressed up like their parents really want to. I seen more mom's all excited last night than I did back when I was a stripper. When the Hugh Hefner, answered the door, for some reason they asked for treats too. But, can't do that, there are kids present, oh how I love to use a womans line against her.
Its amazing how after 10 o'clock how the older people come out. Or maybe it was just my house. Little did they know, I have a peephole and only answered for the hotties. But the real joke is on them. Ole Hugh gave out Hershey wrappers with Laxatatives in them. Wonder how many mom's wanna come a knocking now. Tuff.
On the other hand, last night I was busy with the door last night, and tonight, it all started again, those darn Johovah Witnesses, but lucky for them, I was in my Hefner robe again and they had a deer in the headlight look on their face. Especially when the breeze hit and blew the robe open for a second. I looked like the girl in the mall parking lot trying to hold her skirt down in the wind. HELLO, if the wind is blowing that hard, pants, longer skirt, or just let her fly up, your dressed like a hooker anyways, my god, if your worried about exposing yourself to people that want to see, then stay home wearing them short shorts standing by the window.
So anyways, long live the costume for this year. Can't wait until next year, I need a partner to go out with. I found a human sized condom, and a sucker outfit so together we can be a cocksucker.
But I am getting back onto facebook to stalk on all the slutty pictures people post to add them to my love folder. So later dictator.
Its amazing how after 10 o'clock how the older people come out. Or maybe it was just my house. Little did they know, I have a peephole and only answered for the hotties. But the real joke is on them. Ole Hugh gave out Hershey wrappers with Laxatatives in them. Wonder how many mom's wanna come a knocking now. Tuff.
On the other hand, last night I was busy with the door last night, and tonight, it all started again, those darn Johovah Witnesses, but lucky for them, I was in my Hefner robe again and they had a deer in the headlight look on their face. Especially when the breeze hit and blew the robe open for a second. I looked like the girl in the mall parking lot trying to hold her skirt down in the wind. HELLO, if the wind is blowing that hard, pants, longer skirt, or just let her fly up, your dressed like a hooker anyways, my god, if your worried about exposing yourself to people that want to see, then stay home wearing them short shorts standing by the window.
So anyways, long live the costume for this year. Can't wait until next year, I need a partner to go out with. I found a human sized condom, and a sucker outfit so together we can be a cocksucker.
But I am getting back onto facebook to stalk on all the slutty pictures people post to add them to my love folder. So later dictator.
Saturday, October 29, 2011
Diary of a wimpy kid
So, the boys and I just watched diary of a wimpy kid. That movie needs to get a new name, that's not a good name. When I was I in school, everyone told on me for passing notes, like when I passed a note to a girl that said close your legs, the flyswatter are coming in real bad. Or the note that said your feet smell like ass. Never did it occur to me that detention could be made fun. When I had to stay after school, many of my followers would try to go with me, now that's friends.
I was probably the only kid that didn't mind the principles office, heck the secretary was hot. I always walked out with a new pen too.
It wasn't until this movie I found out it wasn't an honor to have your desk next to the teachers. My God, mine was there from first grade on. I thought I was the teachers assistant I didn't know I was the center of attention for the teacher. But we had fun. The times of filling a locker with shaving cream, to kicking 2 lockers open and switching all the stuff around, what a shocking surprise to those kids. The day of running through the girls locker room, to running out to gym in my undies and then saying, damn, forgot to put on my gym shorts.
If I knew girls were so horny in college, I would of tried harder in high school.
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Smart Phones & Rednecks
How 2 words in the technology dictionary don't mix. A smart phone and redneck. What's this sync stuff? You can have social network sites, and be a redneck, back up pictures, send messages, but when it all goes together and then all your text message pictures get backed up online and people laugh, you just say how the heck?
There's a reason man invented the smart phone, it was to see what non smart girls were doing. But just some email, or a text on how to block that sync deally bob would be great.
But, now in this world where nothing is private, except the neighbor that live in the closet, buy on, there is someone out there watching you and everything you do. Give them a laugh, check in at the local strip joint, then check in at the free clinic the next day, leave em wondering, but get the last laugh!!!!
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Monday, October 24, 2011
the friendly old j.w.
So, sitting at home, with nothing to do, the bell rings and so I lean back in the chair,swing open the door and yell come in. And they did.
To my sweet surprise it was the friendly door to door knockers,,,,aka Johovah Witnesses. What a nice couple, I offered them a beer, and told dude his wife is hotter than a McDonald's French fry right out of the fryer. He wasn't impressed.
So we just watched some football, and I told them, hey my woman will be real excited to know we have another couple stop by, we are swingers. Told them to sit tight, I will go tell her to come out, she's in the shower. So, I got up, went to the bathroom, and heard some scuffling, and the door closed. Obviously, I must have scared them.
When I came back out, they were gone. So, chalk it up as a win for me. They left, I got to enjoy my football game, and nobody else was even home. But I wonder what was going through their mind. Damn J.W.s, that's 3 times I've ran you off. All new crews though, keep them coming, this is fun!!!!!
To my sweet surprise it was the friendly door to door knockers,,,,aka Johovah Witnesses. What a nice couple, I offered them a beer, and told dude his wife is hotter than a McDonald's French fry right out of the fryer. He wasn't impressed.
So we just watched some football, and I told them, hey my woman will be real excited to know we have another couple stop by, we are swingers. Told them to sit tight, I will go tell her to come out, she's in the shower. So, I got up, went to the bathroom, and heard some scuffling, and the door closed. Obviously, I must have scared them.
When I came back out, they were gone. So, chalk it up as a win for me. They left, I got to enjoy my football game, and nobody else was even home. But I wonder what was going through their mind. Damn J.W.s, that's 3 times I've ran you off. All new crews though, keep them coming, this is fun!!!!!
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Tuesday, October 18, 2011
Class Speech
If for some ungodly reason, I was voted to give the big class graduation speech, it would have went something like this.
Fellow Partymates,
Just remember that what you do today, many will not remember tomorrow, so what the hell is the use of homework, and putting in so much time into a class project when you know your only 18 once? Take a day off, enjoy yourself, mom and dad are still forking out the bills, and who gives a crap? Really, you have all the rest of your life to work, who needs college? The only job you HAVE to have a college degree for is the President, and look what kind of people have had that job!! I am way better to tie my time into something else.
Everyone needs to go out and make your family proud, we are loosing interest in the XXX video stores, and naughty stores. The kinky side of America is being closed off, therefore, making the people with these stores filthy rich, so get out, open one up, sell the heck out of everything and bring out some competition. Competition is great, it makes the cost go down so I can personally purchase cheaper.
Never date a girl with more hair on her legs than you. And remember that when you join the service to show your appreciation of free enterprise, and TRAVEL. The best way to go and enjoy another country is on the governments dime. Not only do they pay you to go and have a blast, but they even give you all kinds of crazy holidays off with pay. Then get out, take another government job, collect even more money and retire to open 3 more XXX stores and triple your money.
Obviously wearing sunscreen does nothing for you like that dumb song says, so just party naked, your clothes will come off at the end of the night anywho. So remember, you only have the figure you are going to have while you are 18 once in your life, later in life, kids and fat rolls are going to slow you down. And your will always do more in life than the condom in Susan O'Boyles bedside table.
So take it from me, live, laugh and have sex, or love, in any order. And when you hit your class reunion, remember, you heard it from Redneck Gabe FIRST!!!!
Fellow Partymates,
Just remember that what you do today, many will not remember tomorrow, so what the hell is the use of homework, and putting in so much time into a class project when you know your only 18 once? Take a day off, enjoy yourself, mom and dad are still forking out the bills, and who gives a crap? Really, you have all the rest of your life to work, who needs college? The only job you HAVE to have a college degree for is the President, and look what kind of people have had that job!! I am way better to tie my time into something else.
Everyone needs to go out and make your family proud, we are loosing interest in the XXX video stores, and naughty stores. The kinky side of America is being closed off, therefore, making the people with these stores filthy rich, so get out, open one up, sell the heck out of everything and bring out some competition. Competition is great, it makes the cost go down so I can personally purchase cheaper.
Never date a girl with more hair on her legs than you. And remember that when you join the service to show your appreciation of free enterprise, and TRAVEL. The best way to go and enjoy another country is on the governments dime. Not only do they pay you to go and have a blast, but they even give you all kinds of crazy holidays off with pay. Then get out, take another government job, collect even more money and retire to open 3 more XXX stores and triple your money.
Obviously wearing sunscreen does nothing for you like that dumb song says, so just party naked, your clothes will come off at the end of the night anywho. So remember, you only have the figure you are going to have while you are 18 once in your life, later in life, kids and fat rolls are going to slow you down. And your will always do more in life than the condom in Susan O'Boyles bedside table.
So take it from me, live, laugh and have sex, or love, in any order. And when you hit your class reunion, remember, you heard it from Redneck Gabe FIRST!!!!
Monday, October 10, 2011
Hike Bike Trail
Every town needs to have a hike and bike trail along with a Walmart. They go hand and hand. I live along the trail, and to my eyes, many Walmart shoppers walk the trail.
From Halloween costumes all year long, and beings a Walmart shopper myself. I must say, when you take 2lb fishing line tied across the trail about face high, I'm amazes at how many ninjas use the trail. Its like hitting face first into a spider web, hiiiiiii yaaaaa, automatic ninja.
Another favorite of mine is the bb to the ass on a bike trick. One who thinks they are lance Armstrong learns quickly that those rear tires throw rocks. Just a couple pumps, and a ting to the butt cheek seems to slow a novice rider down like a cop on an open street. They jump, almost off the bike, and always turn around. Come on, something small taps your ass and your going Mach 2 on your tour de cup bike from Walmart, and you think you can see it?
Some people are always worried about how they look before going out in public, those same people wear their "don't want to be seen in public with" clothes on the trail. From clownsuits.com to holy crap, I'm colorblind and know that don't go together outfits are totally amazing.
So, until you decide to heat the path, and wear something interesting. I will be the one sitting naked by the window with my bb gun and fishing line. If you don't like me naked, don't look!!!!!
From Halloween costumes all year long, and beings a Walmart shopper myself. I must say, when you take 2lb fishing line tied across the trail about face high, I'm amazes at how many ninjas use the trail. Its like hitting face first into a spider web, hiiiiiii yaaaaa, automatic ninja.
Another favorite of mine is the bb to the ass on a bike trick. One who thinks they are lance Armstrong learns quickly that those rear tires throw rocks. Just a couple pumps, and a ting to the butt cheek seems to slow a novice rider down like a cop on an open street. They jump, almost off the bike, and always turn around. Come on, something small taps your ass and your going Mach 2 on your tour de cup bike from Walmart, and you think you can see it?
Some people are always worried about how they look before going out in public, those same people wear their "don't want to be seen in public with" clothes on the trail. From clownsuits.com to holy crap, I'm colorblind and know that don't go together outfits are totally amazing.
So, until you decide to heat the path, and wear something interesting. I will be the one sitting naked by the window with my bb gun and fishing line. If you don't like me naked, don't look!!!!!
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Sunday, October 2, 2011
Golf
Golf is a sport I just don't understand. You have 2 men running around, counting strokes, to get their balls in a hole. And he with the less strokes wins? No woman likes a minute man.
And why is it they be quiet? If you can't play with noise then practice, I like noise when trying to get balls in a hole.
I would of never came up with such a game. And yelling Four when you almost hit someone? In the army we yelled incoming. Four? Really. ?
On days I drive past a course, I honk, and yell four, just to get a reaction on Americas quietest sporting field. Take a book, its an outdoor library.
But to run in and take a cart and do donuts, yell four everywhere and make an obstical course out of the trees is the way I roll.
And why is it they be quiet? If you can't play with noise then practice, I like noise when trying to get balls in a hole.
I would of never came up with such a game. And yelling Four when you almost hit someone? In the army we yelled incoming. Four? Really. ?
On days I drive past a course, I honk, and yell four, just to get a reaction on Americas quietest sporting field. Take a book, its an outdoor library.
But to run in and take a cart and do donuts, yell four everywhere and make an obstical course out of the trees is the way I roll.
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